when I didn’t feel like going - It was just a few hours in a tux with a drink and a smile. Nothing to go to pieces about.
So then why exactly had the Christmas contagion never caught on with me even a little bit? I considered that year’s plans...which would be both the usual Christmas ball and a celebration of my father’s retirement. But what about after that?
We never really did the traditional tree and presents. Mom had plenty of giant trees brought into the house for the party, but we never had a “family” tree with handmade ornaments. That wouldn’t be up to her standards and taste. Our presents to each other were usually given in passing, and consisted of things like gift cards, trip packages, cars, and money.
It started eating at me so much that I decided to call my sister just to prove how little of an issue I really had with the holidays. I had a plan that might just get me off the hook with Hazel after all.
“Ann Palmer speaking,” she picked up, obviously not realizing it was me.
“Ann, it’s me.”
“Oh...hey,” she replied with a tone that told me if she had known it was me, she probably wouldn’t have picked up. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just...you know, calling to catch up. How’s Joey?”
“Busy. Like me. So...wait, you’re just calling to chat?”
“Pretty much,” I said, taking another sip of my beer.
“And...you’re sure everything’s okay?”
“Yes,” I grumbled. “Everything is just fine. How are the kids? Cassie is...what, eight now?”
“Nine,” she sighed. “I’m fine. Joey is fine. The kids are fine. Just all very busy, like I said. I don’t really have time for catching up right now. Call my assistant and set up a lunch. I may not have any time until after the holidays, but…”
“That is one thing I wanted to talk to you about,” I interjected. “The holidays. Have you given any thought to our family plans this year?”
She was quiet for a moment. “Have I given it any thought? What the hell do you mean?”
“I was just thinking...we hadn’t really talked about getting together for Christmas or anything.”
“Are you daft!?” she laughed dryly. “Did you not get mom’s invite to the gala?”
“No, no. I know there’s the gala. But that’s such a big affair with all those people we barely know, and you and Joey never bring the kids. I don’t even know the last time I actually saw my niece and nephew...or had a chance to sit in a room with any of you and just talk.”
“Do you need someone to talk to? I have a good number for a therapist I’ll send you.”
“Ann, Jesus...No, I don’t need someone to talk to. God dammit, I’m trying to…,” I stopped and took a deep breath to calm down. “I’m just trying to set up something with just our family for Christmas. Is that so much to ask?”
“But we never…”
“I know we never. That’s what I’m trying to fix.”
“Look, Chris. I expected weird calls like this from Dad, now that he’s retired and all. But you have a floundering chain of department stores to save. It’s hardly a time to be concerned with family bonding time.”
Actually, thanks to Hazel, family bonding time apparently had to be my concern if I was ever going to free myself from her grip, get the good press we needed, and move the hell on to fixing everything else going wrong with the company.
“Call my assistant to set up that lunch for the new year,” she continued. “And I’ll see you at the gala, okay? Gotta go.”
Click. It was hardly a helpful conversation. I might have even gone so far to ask her how she felt about the holidays, or if she remembered something different than me from when we were growing up. But there obviously wasn’t time for that.
I chugged back the rest of my beer and opened another. So what if my family was a little disconnected? I never would have even noticed or cared if Hazel wasn’t up my ass about all of this. And whatever problems I had in my life were no worse than her obsession with making everything perfect.
I got curious and opened up my laptop to take a look at this infamous blog of hers, NonPareil. I expected cheesy pictures of gingerbread cookies and poinsettias to pop up on the screen.
I was slightly impressed and surprised by what actually came up though...a crisp, clever website design with modern looking,