movies, and TV series I’ve ever watched, ever tried to write, the wise one, the old master, usually takes it on the chin. And since I wasn’t even close to that, what chance did I have?
The vampire laughed, as if on cue. “Your powers are weak, old woman.”
Really? Quoting Vader? I had a hard time believing this—thing—had ever watched Star Wars. I opened my mouth to make some snarky reply, but there was no air. Terror ripped through me as I gasped desperately. God, I didn’t want to come back more powerful than anyone could possibly imagine, thank you very much.
A knife flashed before my dimming eyes, and I felt the cold edge as the vampire cut through my clothes. It froze as its eyes focused on my chest, but I knew damn well it wasn’t lusting after my heaving bosom. Oh, no.
It was staring at the necklace.
Wan was still pounding on the window; I could hear the cries of the girls as they tried to break in. My lungs burned; my vision blurred. I couldn’t move, couldn’t summon a bit of power.
I was going to die.
I’d never pet my fat white dogs again, never get published, never take a chance on kissing McDougall, never again eat chocolate-covered pretzels—
With frickin’ sea salt!
Jerking my eyes open, I flailed my free hand around in the bag. The vampire laughed at my struggles and squeezed down harder.
My vision went black as my hand clutched a handful of pretzels. I flung them at its face.
The vampire jerked back, first from the impact of the tiny missiles, but then he screamed in an inhuman pitch as the salt hit his leathery skin. I grabbed another handful, feeling the chocolate melting against my palm, and smashed them into his face. He reared back, and the limo filled with the scent of dark chocolate and sizzling flesh.
He screeched and rolled off me. I drew in a sweet breath and scooted back, dragging my bags with me. Clutching his face, writhing in pain, the reddish glow diminished as the vampire wailed in agony.
I’d like to claim that I screamed in victory at that point, but honestly I shrieked in panic. I started slamming my hand down on the various control panels as I scrabbled to the back of the limo.
The vampire snarled, fixing me with his terrible gaze, his face a mess of chocolate smears and small pits of burnt skin where bones showed through. “You wangbadan!” he hissed.
I screamed again and smacked my hand down on what turned out to be the control button for all the windows.
Sacred Ancient Chinese Warrior-Virgins flooded into the space like avenging angels, still dressed in their gleaming shopping-cart armor and looking mad enough to kill a thousand vampires. Wan threw himself through the nearest window, interposing himself between me and the vampire. I cowered behind him on my hands and knees.
“Begone, vile spawn!” Wan shouted.
The vampire lunged at Peach Blossom, but even in the close confines of the limo she dodged and parried with her sword. “Your deaths,” he hissed. “All your deaths will strengthen me!”
I let him have it with all the salt at the bottom of the bag.
There was a wild, high shriek of pure rage, and the vampire leapt for the open sunroof and flew into the night, leaving only a trail of melted chocolate drops and sea salt behind.
In the sudden silence, all I could hear was my harsh breathing.
“Kate . . . ” Wan leaned over me, sheathing his sword on his back, his worry clear.
I tried to reassure him, but my voice was a rattle in my throat, my neck throbbing with pain.
“We must take her to McDougall. He is a healer,” Wan announced.
Oh no, no hospitals, no condescending looks from Dr. “Told ya so.” I tried to struggle up, but only managed to make myself breathless.
The girls clustered around me on the seats, gleaming in their armor. Cherry Blossom eased my head into her lap.
“Her wagon is destroyed,” Clouds on Moon glanced out the window. “At least, I do not believe it was designed to work while on fire.”
“No indeed,” Wan said. “We will take this one. I will operate the vehicle.”
I squawked in rough protest.
“I have observed her drive,” Wan said. “It does not appear to be difficult, provided a reasonable speed is maintained.”
Many hands eased me down to the seat. My vision was going now, but it was sheer exhaustion, not the lack of air.
“How will you navigate?” Filially Pious asked, her