was the look on Julian’s face when I pulled away and ran.
It was a bittersweet moment when I learned he was moving to Australia. I thought, yeah, okay, you won’t see him, and all is forgotten, but after the farewell at Hazel’s, I already missed him.
No matter how much I tried to ignore the overwhelming feelings brewing inside of me, Julian is the only person who allowed me to be my complete self. Scars and all.
Not to be caught up in that moment, I said my goodbyes and walked away, followed by a sleepless night. It was around three in the morning when I climbed out of bed, walked over to my dresser, and pulled out the wedding album again. I turned each page looking at the photographs, smiling and remembering the day I had waited a lifetime for. It all felt so distant now. I didn’t shed a tear this time, instead I walked over to Andy’s room where I watched him sleep.
We deserved to start a new life, and it wasn’t that I was looking for a father for Andy—I was lonely. I missed intimacy, the touch of a man on my delicate skin, the overwhelming feeling of having someone bury their body inside you, creating a frenzy within your body which can’t be controlled no matter how much you try to fight it.
I miss having someone who understands my grief and remains patient with me throughout my outbursts.
Julian understands because he’s been in my exact position. He knows how much it hurts to lose someone. Knowing how much he has suffered by watching Chelsea die in front of him, it makes me closer to him. I understand his flaws, his mistakes, and I understand why Charlie coming into his life took the pain away and why latching onto her became an obsession. Anything to take his mind off reality.
Yet, ironically, I became just like him. Latching onto him to numb the pain, but somewhere throughout the storm, what we had ran deeper than either one of us expected.
I’m pulled out of my daze when Eric sits down at the table and lets out a huge sigh. He pats his hair to ensure it’s in place, followed by flattening out his perfectly pressed Dior suit. Today, he is wearing a pale blue business shirt which I recognize immediately from the Prada collection. He looks good, as always.
“Don’t even fucking start, drama queen. You’re late.”
“Take a chill pill, Adriana. I had the worst day.”
“What’s wrong?” My stomach makes a slight grumble as I reach for a breadstick.
“Meh, work stuff, confidential. Where in God’s earth is Charlie?” He grabs the napkin, gently patting his forehead to remove the sweat. I notice the nude powder transferring to the stark white linen cloth.
“OMG Eric, are you wearing foundation?” I gasp.
He places his finger over his lips and scans the room to make sure no one notices my outburst. “You don’t have to broadcast it,” he whispers. “I had a bit of an incident last night… using bleach.”
I scratch my head in confusion. “Okay, um, what were you bleaching?”
“You don’t want to know. Let’s just say I forgot to wash my hands, and I accidentally got some on my forehead causing an allergic reaction. Hence, the need to cover up.”
What on earth would he be bleaching? It wasn’t the hair on his head. Oh gross, it was probably his pubes. OMG or worse yet his…
“I’m sorry I am late!” Charlie strolls in with the stroller and takes a seat. Turning to look at Eric, she notices his impatient stare. “What?”
“I need to speak to you about the case I’m working on,” Eric says seriously.
“Okay, can it wait? I’m famished and have about ten minutes before she starts screaming again.”
“Charlie, I’m on a deadline here. You haven’t been in the office all week,” he complains.
Oh crap. Here we go again.
“Are you kidding me? I’ve got a six-month-old who’s teething and barely sleeping and a three-year-old still going through the terrible twos stage. Oh, and don’t get me started on her diva behavior which has clearly come from your mouth, and I don’t think I’ve slept for like three days.”
She does look terrible, and as an aunt, I start to feel guilty.
“So just get Lex to help? What’s the problem?” Eric huffs.
“Oh gee whiz, why didn’t I think of that,” Charlie sneers.
I intervene, “Okay, chill people. Charlie, let me take Ava and Amelia off you tonight. Go to sleep, or whatever with Lex… so awkward.”
“Look,