hurt you, Adriana,” he whispers gently and without force. “This is hard for me, too. Sex became an addiction at times when I couldn’t get high. It’s been a long time since I was last intimate with a woman if we’re honest here.”
I’m somewhat relieved he feels nervous and isn’t pushing me like I expect many men would’ve done if locked away in a hotel room.
I let out a soft moan. “You have to be patient with me.”
He sticks to his promise, kissing me gently to relax my body. The slower he is, the more it excites me. Tracing the top of my dress, I feel the straps fall down my shoulder. His lips move toward the base of my neck, placing kisses one by one, causing my skin to erupt into small goosebumps.
“You’re so sexy,” he murmurs, teasing my heated skin with his tongue.
My hands are shaking as I unbutton his shirt, exposing his chest in all its fabulous ripped glory. He is so fucking beautiful, it hurts. I run my hands along his torso and watch as his eyes flutter. Lifting me gently, he moves me, so I’m underneath him. With his body pressed against mine, I feel the weight of his body, watching as he releases the weight by lifting himself slightly, causing his forearms to flex.
Fuck me now, he’s so hot. It’s like movie-star hot. Everything about his body is so perfect. I crushed on many actors throughout my lifetime, but they have nothing on Julian. Geez, Adriana, an intimate moment and your brain is picturing movie stars. What the fuck is wrong with you?
I’m suddenly brought back into the now, lost in a sea of kisses, his mouth trailing lower and lingering near my breasts. I absolutely hate my breasts, my biggest insecurity, but something he does, the way his eyes dance with delight as he exposes them allows me to let go of any inhibitions. His mouth is watering, and I wait in anticipation for his tongue to circle them. The second it hits, I arch my back and let out a loud moan, pulling his hair, wanting more.
He brings his lips back to mine, and before I have a chance to gulp for air, an unfamiliar object brushes past my entrance. I close my eyes as he gently toys with my sensitive spot and am very aware of what’s going to happen next. My body is clenching, and he carefully eases himself in. I let out a small whimper.
As I realize he is entering me, the panic sets in. My brain, unable to shut off, is frantically comparing his size, his technique, and that the feeling becomes too much. Unwillingly, the tears fall down my face, and my moans become sobs.
Within seconds, Julian is aware I’m upset and stops. Remaining inside me, he catches his breath.
“Adriana, you want me to stop?” he whispers.
“I don’t know,” I mumble through my sobs.
He lets go, and his body falls on top of mine. I’m suffocating underneath him, but I am too timid to let him know that I am uncomfortable.
Julian pulls himself out of me, his cock resting on my stomach as I see him wince in pain. The guilt is smothering me to the point I can’t breathe. Squirming around, I free my arms and pull my dress up to cover my chest, aware my insecurities and guilt have gotten the better of me. Again, it was bound to happen.
Slowly, he moves off me and is lying flat on his back, palms resting against his face. For some reason, when I look at him naked, he catches me, and I immediately turn away.
“I’m sorry, Julian. It was too much.”
He doesn’t say anything, and I give him a moment.
Fuck, I’m a bitch for making him stop halfway. What kind of girl does that? You—you idiot. But with valid reason, right? Right at this moment, I need my best friend to talk me through this. She will make me see some sense. Except, that would never happen because your best friend has screwed the guy as well. God, this is just getting worse and worse.
We lay there for a long time in the dark in an awkward silence not saying a word to each other. He is still, and his arousal has sunk faster than the Titanic. I’m still soaked, uncomfortable as the wetness between my thighs needs some attention.
“You feel like going for a walk?” he says in an arctic tone. “I could use the fresh