days had been with work.
Now, I felt like I would scream with the frustration of it.
Arokan turned back towards the front of the camp and I lost sight of him between the tents. I couldn’t help but wonder where he was going…and so late.
When I returned to the voliki, I ate and bathed myself, but even the tub seemed too big without Arokan in it. I had grown so used to spending the nights with him that now it seemed strange, like the time was stretched. It was different. I didn’t think I liked it.
As I waited, my thoughts ran wild. Insecurity reared its ugly head and I couldn’t help but wonder, for the hundredth time, if Arokan was assuaging his lusts elsewhere.
I didn’t think I could handle that if it were true. Over the short amount of time we’d been together, I’d grown to care for him. There had been a point, early on, when I hadn’t cared. I’d hoped he’d been visiting other females.
Now, that possibility made my hands shake, made my heart palpitate in my chest.
I didn’t want him touching anyone else. I didn’t want him using that magnificent body on anyone else. I didn’t want him kissing or gently stroking or warming anyone else but me.
He was mine. Mine alone. And it amazed me at how intense that feeling rose in my chest and held, how that feeling took shape and hardened like stone.
Unable to wait any longer, I stalked out the tent entrance, surprising my two guards.
I needed to see for myself where he was, who he was with.
“I need some fresh air,” I told them. “Lo navi kikkira anr.”
Though they initially tried to protest, I began to walk through camp, threading my way in the direction Arokan had gone in.
Maybe I was being crazy, but I blamed it on the frustration. I just needed to know to finally stop these treacherous thoughts once and for all.
I walked between tents, keeping an ear out for his voice. And I heard quite a lot. I’d never really walked between the volikis at night, but it suddenly occurred to me how easily it was to hear families or couples or warriors inside. And every time I heard a female moan, or cry out in pleasure, my heart froze because I wondered who was giving her it.
I don’t know how many tents I passed where couples were having sex. It only drove in what I already knew: that the Dakkari liked sex, liked having it regularly, and that Arokan and I were not having it.
And strangely enough, it brought me close to tears. Perhaps it was the frustration, perhaps it was how much I’d grown to like Arokan, how my belly warmed and fluttered whenever he was around, whenever I heard his voice, or perhaps it was simply close to my bleeding time. I didn’t know.
Regardless, I was on the verge of having some sort of emotional breakdown when I finally heard his voice.
It was coming from a tent set a little further away from the others. A larger one, the same size as ours. A single guard was posted out front and as I approached, his brow furrowed.
I heard Arokan’s voice again. He was speaking in Dakkari. It sounded like he was asking a question, but his voice was low and deep.
Then I heard the light voice of a female and my stomach lurched.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was striding towards the voliki. The guard tried to stop me but I wouldn’t be deterred.
All I could think was that Arokan was mine and he was with another female that night.
So, before the guard caught hold of me, I pushed the flaps of the tent entrance back with a forceful slap and lunged inside, bracing myself for whatever I would find.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Stunned silence filled the tent at my unexpected appearance.
Arokan straightened from the table he was standing over, his brows pulled down, the first to recover. “Rei Morakkari, is something wrong?”
My lips parted and I stared wide-eyed at the group of eight other Dakkari standing in the large tent. Arokan, six Dakkari males—four of them warriors, then his pujerak, then another elderly male—and two older females, Hukan included.
Profound relief mixed with shame and mortification made me stutter, “I—I—no, I just—”
It was a meeting. All were standing around a drawn out map of what I assumed was Dakkar. They had been discussing something before I’d barged in.
Fool, fool, fool, my mind whispered, over and over again.
Hukan’s