swallowed the thick lump in my throat.
Long moments passed. I waited. And waited.
Finally, I couldn’t take the silence anymore. With all the courage I could muster, I looked up at Arokan, who was standing before me.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my tone clear, though my voice shook slightly. “I—I never could have imagined that…that…”
“Division breeds uncertainty and fear,” Arokan said. “Do not ever question me in front of the horde again, Morakkari. Do not ever question me in front of my warriors or our enemies, Morakkari.”
I flinched. His soft words somehow seemed worse than if he were yelling at me at the top of his lungs. I almost wished he would. But I realized he probably didn’t want the horde to hear.
This was a private matter. And I had made it public, by challenging him in front of his people.
Division breeds uncertainty and fear.
He meant division between us. This was between us.
“I’m sorry,” I said again. “But I wasn’t prepared for an execution. You said it was a trial. I thought I could save his—”
“It is not about what you want, Luna,” Arokan growled. “It is about what keeps the horde safe. My decision ensured that.”
“Then we were already divided before we ever stepped foot onto that dais,” I said quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me? You didn’t think I could handle it? You kept me in the dark when you knew what would happen, when you and only you had already decided his fate.”
“Do not turn this around on me, kalles,” he said softly.
That reminded me of something. “You called me nekkar earlier,” I said. “Why?”
“To remind you,” he growled.
“Of what? My lowly place in this universe?”
“That until recently, you said you did not know of the Ghertuns’ existence,” Arokan said and I froze. “To remind you that while you were behind the walls of your village, safe, the Dakkari were losing many to their savagery and carnage. You do not know what they are capable of.”
Safe.
Maybe we had been safe, but we’d also been starving and filled with fear that at any moment, the Dakkari would come for us all.
“Is that what happened?” I whispered, looking up at him. “Today, you said your father made a mistake by showing mercy to a Ghertun.”
It was wrong thing to say, at perhaps the worst possible time. I should have bit my tongue.
Arokan’s shoulders bunched. I watched, in horrified fascination, as his temper rose, as anguish and regret and anger, all flashed over his features, before he managed to rein them back in. It made me realize how much he kept on a tight leash inside. It made me realize how much control he possessed.
“Lysi,” he rasped, his eyes staring daggers into my own. “A much similar situation. My father found the scout. At his trial, my father granted him mercy and let him go. Three days later, in the dead of night, that scout led his pack to my father’s horde.”
My breathing went tight, fearing that I already knew what happened.
“Half of the warriors were out patrolling, which they knew because they had been watching us. They caught us unaware. We were outnumbered.”
“Arokan,” I whispered.
“Three of them slaughtered my father in his bed before anyone knew they had infiltrated the camp. Afterwards, they raped my mother and then killed her too. It was her screams that alerted the guards, that began the full-fledged attack on the horde.”
Horror made me clasp my hand over my mouth as nausea rolled in my belly.
“I was young at the time. I was sleeping in Hukan’s tent that night, near the front of the camp, the furthest away. My mother’s screams woke me. They still haunt me. Even though I fought against her, Hukan got me out, got a group of females and children out, and we rode until we happened upon another horde, whose Vorakkar tracked down the pack and killed them all in retribution. A Vorakkar who killed that scout, which is what my father should have done from the beginning, without hesitation, without pity or sympathy.”
Stunned silence filled the tent. I couldn’t begin to imagine what he’d witnessed, the brutality and horror of such an attack. His mother, his father…
Tears pooled in my eyes, but I didn’t look away from him.
“I…” I croaked. “Arokan, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“I have been Vorakkar long enough to know not to take chances with the safety of the horde,” he said next. “Which is something that you need to realize, Luna. I do not have to