to take a breath. Brace myself on the edge of the counter.
“Then why’d he marry you?”
“Look, this is why I said it was complicated.” I tamped down on the sob trying to work its way from my chest to my throat. “I can’t explain why we can’t be married anymore, but I just know that we can’t. We tried, we failed. That’s it, the end.”
“Doesn’t seem like you tried very hard.”
I glared at him over my shoulder, then took my glass of wine and left the kitchen.
“Hey, where are you going?”
“To my office!”
“Why? We’re talking.”
“I’m done talking!” I went into my office and slammed the door behind me, then took a big long drink of wine. I checked my phone and noticed I’d missed three calls from Blair. She’d texted too.
Blair: WHAT IS GOING ON??? Call me.
I sat down and called her back.
“Hey,” she whispered as soon as she picked up. “Hold on.”
I listened to her muffled breathing and then what sounded like a door closing.
“Where are you?” she said frantically but quietly.
“I’m at home,” I said. “As in my old condo. Why are you whispering?”
“Because Griffin and Enzo are here and I don’t want them to hear me.”
At the mention of his name, my pulse picked up.
“Why are you at your old condo?” she asked.
“Because Enzo and I are moving ahead with the plan at an accelerated pace. Phase two failed. We’re now in phase three—the breakup.”
“You’re breaking up?”
“Actually, we were never really together.”
“You know what I mean. You’re moving out? You’re getting divorced? You’re not trying for a baby anymore?”
“All of the above,” I said bitterly, taking another sip of wine.
“I figured something had happened. I went by the Center Avenue house this afternoon with sandwiches and offered to stay and help out. Enzo was acting so weird, and you were nowhere to be found, and he kept saying he wasn’t sure where you were or if you were coming.”
“What do you mean, acting weird?” I asked.
“He was just not himself at all. Silent and broody. Big scowl on his face. Barking directions at everyone and snapping if anyone asked a question—especially about you.”
I put a hand on my forehead and squeezed my eyes shut.
“So you’re really leaving?”
“I have to, Blair.”
“Because of what you told me?” she asked gently.
“Yes,” I said softly, tears leaking from my eyes. “I couldn’t stay another month. I couldn’t keep sleeping with him. I couldn’t bear another heartbreaking disappointment. I couldn’t risk falling deeper in love with him. All of it was too much—I felt like I was under water. I couldn’t breathe.”
“I’m sorry, Bianca. I wish there was something I could do.”
I grabbed a tissue from the box on my desk. “I’ll be okay. I’m just going to stay away from him for a little while. Try to let my feelings cool off.”
“What about all your stuff at the house?”
“I’ll have to get it eventually.” I paused to blow my nose. “What’s he doing at your place?”
“Griffin invited him over for dinner. He said he felt sorry for him.”
“How long will he be there?”
“I don’t know. We just ordered takeout. Why, do you want to come over?”
“No! I’m wondering if I have time to go get some more stuff from the house. All my clothes are there.”
“Do you have to sneak around? Can’t you just talk to him?”
“I don’t know if I can handle it yet,” I said honestly, my voice breaking. “Last night was so hard. I barely held it together. I don’t want him to know how I feel—that will only make it worse.”
“Why?”
“He’ll just pity me. He’ll look at me like he did after I got my period. Like he feels sorry for me.”
“Well, he does. I do too.”
“It’s not how I want him to see me, okay?” I was trying not to cry openly—I didn’t want my brother to hear me—but I broke down anyway as I paced back and forth. “I want my pride back. I want my strength back. I want him to look at me and see the girl he thought I was. The one with courage and determination, who can handle anything life throws at her. The one with moxie.”
“Moxie?”
“Yes. He once said he liked that about me—that I had moxie.”
She sighed. “He likes a lot of things about you. He’s just being an idiot.”
“No, he isn’t. He’s being exactly who he is.” I stopped pacing and took a breath. “Exactly who I knew he was. And it’s on me for falling for him