hosted book club on Thursday night, and after everyone left but Blair and me, the three of us sat in her living room talking.
“I’m dying to catch up,” Cheyenne said, pouring herself some more wine and settling into the L of a cream-colored sectional sofa I’d helped her and Cole choose. “How are things going?”
“Good,” I said.
“I noticed you’re not drinking wine,” said Blair, who sat on the corner opposite from me, a suspicious smile on her face.
I took a sip of my tea. “Nope.”
“Does that mean you’re already pregnant?” Cheyenne’s eyes popped.
“No,” I said, laughing. “Just trying to be.”
Blair sat up ramrod straight. “Wait a minute. You told me before that the first insemination wouldn’t be until late April. It’s only mid-March.”
“About that.” I took another sip of tea. “We, um, decided to try it the old-fashioned way.”
Both my friends stared at me.
“Are you serious?” Cheyenne asked.
“Yes.”
“I knew it!” Blair thumped her hand on the couch. “I said to Griffin when we left your house on Saturday that you guys would not be able to stick to that ridiculous no-sex rule.”
“You were right,” I confessed. “We couldn’t.”
“I’m so confused,” Cheyenne said, placing a palm on her forehead. “Are you guys actually a couple now? Or is everything still fake?”
“I think we’re something in between,” I said. “Not a couple, but not entirely fake either. More like friends with benefits.”
She continued trying to understand. “But you’re still planning to break up eventually?”
“Yes. After the baby is born, if I get pregnant. Sooner if I don’t.”
“Like how soon?”
“We said we’d give it three months.” My stomach felt a little funny when I said it out loud. Three months didn’t seem nearly as long as it had when we first signed the contract.
“Wow.” Cheyenne blinked. “And you’ll be able to just walk away?”
“Sure,” I said with confidence I didn’t fully feel. “That part of the plan hasn’t changed. From the very beginning, we agreed on an expiration date. We just adjusted things to have a little more fun in the meantime.”
“But what if you really like each other by then?” Cheyenne pressed. “Don’t you think it could work?”
“No way,” I insisted, before that voice in my head saying well, maybe . . . could make itself be heard. “The reason I chose Enzo is because I knew there would be no possible way I’d ever fall for him. In fact, he made me put that in the contract.”
“He did?” Cheyenne rolled her eyes. “What an asshole.”
“I know.” I laughed, shaking my head. “And at the time, it seemed ludicrous that he’d even think it. But he claims he’s been in this situation before, where someone says she’s okay with casual fun but then she falls in love with him.”
“But you’re not that girl,” Blair said. “This is not that situation.”
“No, it’s not. And it never will be.” I sat up a little taller. “Look, I appreciate his honesty. I spent years in a relationship letting myself be strung along with empty promises. At least Enzo is being up front about it. He’s never going to love me. I’m okay with that.”
Blair gasped and looked at Cheyenne. “She sounds just like you.”
“Huh?” I glanced back and forth between them.
“I said that too, about Cole.” Cheyenne smiled knowingly. “That he was never going to love me.”
“Oh.” I tilted my head this way and that. “Well, that was a different situation. You guys had a different history. Different circumstances.”
“So did Griffin and I,” said Blair. “There isn’t one path that leads to love, Bianca. All we’re saying is that we don’t think you should completely close yourself off to the idea of finding something real with Enzo. It could happen, even though neither of you expects it.”
“Neither of us wants it,” I insisted, growing a little agitated. I wasn’t them, and they weren’t me. Why did I have to explain this again? “We’re in this for something else entirely. And because I’m a mature, self-aware woman who has learned from her mistakes, I’m being one hundred percent careful this time not to get sucked into the fantasy. Yes, we’re married. But it’s just a piece of paper for us. Yes, the sex is great. But it’s just sex. Yes, Enzo is hot and funny and maybe slightly less irksome these days. But I’m on a mission, and I know what it is—and what it’s not.”
Blair sighed dramatically and looked at Cheyenne. “We can’t have nice things, Chey.”
Cheyenne shook her head. “Nope, we sure can’t.”
“You guys