pulled out some pajamas. I put them on and slipped into bed before reaching for my phone. First I texted my brother that I was asleep in my office and I’d explain tomorrow.
Then I took a deep breath and let Enzo know that I’d arrived. His reply was quick and short, and I didn’t blame him. I knew I’d blindsided him tonight. I should have told him at the beginning of the week that I’d decided not to take the Clomid again. I had no excuse—I’d simply put off the conversation because I knew it would be hard. I knew I’d have to admit the truth—that I wasn’t strong enough to keep going through this rollercoaster of emotions. That I was worried my feelings for him were growing too big to contain. And I knew I’d have to follow it up by leaving.
What I hadn’t known was how easily he was going to let me go. No fight. No pleas to stay. No trying to talk me into trying again. Mostly he’d seemed upset that I’d hidden the truth from him about the pills.
It seemed to me like the perfect evidence he was done with me. And why wouldn’t he be?
He’d gotten his company. I couldn’t get pregnant. There was nothing left, no reason for us to keep up the act.
He didn’t love me. He was never going to love me.
I set my phone aside and cried myself to sleep.
Saturday morning, I woke up with my cheek on a damp pillow. I checked the time—it was just after seven.
Swinging my feet to the floor, I stretched and ran a hand through my hair. My head ached, my eyes felt puffy, and my nose was sore from blowing it so many times. There was a pile of soggy tissues on the floor next to the bed.
After dumping them in the trash, I threw on my jeans and sweatshirt, used the bathroom, and shuffled out to the kitchen to make some coffee. Again, I was pleasantly surprised to see that JJ had a fully stocked pantry and refrigerator, complete with fresh fruit and orange juice. Maybe I’d sold my brother short in the maturity department.
When the coffee was made, I poured myself a cup and wandered out to the living room, which is where I discovered JJ asleep on the couch, fully dressed, with a wrinkled, empty bag of potato chips on his stomach, crumbs spilling out onto the floor.
Frowning, I set my cup on the coffee table and went to the front hall closet to grab my hand-held vacuum cleaner. When I turned it on to clean up the mess, JJ jumped. “Bianca, what the hell?”
“You got chips all over the floor,” I complained over the noise.
“So you have to clean it up now? It’s the middle of the night.”
“It is not. It’s after seven.” I turned off the vacuum. “And why are you sleeping out here?”
“I don’t know. I came home and got hungry. I wanted a snack.” He sat up and ran a hand through his hair, which was totally matted on one side and spiky on the other. “I must have fallen asleep.”
I put the vacuum away and threw the chip bag in the garbage before going back to the living room and opening the blinds.
JJ moaned at the light. “What are you doing here anyway? I thought you got married.”
“I did. We’re . . . having some issues.” I picked up my coffee and sat in the wide-backed chair opposite the couch, tucking my legs beneath me.
“What issues?”
“None of your business.”
“Is he annoying or something? The girl I’m dating is so fucking annoying.”
“No, he’s not annoying.”
“You’re not moving back in, are you?” He looked scared. “I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“Relax. You can stay for now.”
He looked relieved. “Thanks.”
I glanced around. “It actually looks like you’ve kept the place pretty neat.”
“Oh that,” he said, yawning. “Yeah, Mom comes over once a week and cleans.”
My jaw dropped. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No. She does laundry and grocery shops too.”
I rolled my eyes. “That is ridiculous. You are a grown man, JJ.”
“I didn’t ask her to, Bianca. She insists. I think she’s afraid you’ll kick me out and I’ll have to move back in with her and Dad.”
“Well, you need to start looking for a place,” I told him. “It’s time for you to stop acting like a kid and get your shit together.”
“Okay, okay,” he said, looking injured. “Jeez. It’s too early for this kind of abuse.”
“Then go