I were. Where we always are. With fucking Andrew.
“What you all asked me to do because I fucking love her!” I bellow.
“Quiet down, both of you.” Abel glances at the bathroom door.
“Get out. Let me talk to her for a minute, and I’ll be down. We have to end things now. I want answers. I can’t watch her self-destruct like that again. We have to bring her back to us, and this is the only way,” Jaxx huffs, pushing back his hair.
“You don’t even know the half of it. I need your help, but I am going to need you focused. So go take care of her first.” Abel motions to the bathroom.
“This is fucked, Jaxx.” I turn for the door but change course when I see the shattered mirror and dried blood on the carpet. Dropping to my knees, I lift a large piece of blood-covered glass.
“Jaxx, what else happened last night?” Abel steps over to us.
“Her arm?” I look up to Jaxx, and he gives a single nod.
“Her darkest demons and her very rock bottom. That’s the Eliana I tried to save last night. Now, tell me either of you would have turned her away.” Jaxx walks back to the bathroom door. “I need to talk to her. She thinks-” He shakes his head. “I need to talk to her.” He pulls out a key, unlocking the door, and walks in, sealing us on the outside.
I hate him for this, but I love him for it, too. She hurt herself while we were balls deep in coke and whores, again. He is the better man.
“He’s in love with her too, Cos.”
“Fuck that. I would have known.”
“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… you are a damn fool sometimes. You really need to open your eyes. When it comes to E, you are fucking blind.” Abel offers me a hand up.
“Bullshit.” I stand, turning to leave, but stop to pick up a photo from the floor. “Where the hell did this come from?”
“What?” Abel looks over my shoulder, “I haven’t seen that one before. Bethany and E were what, eleven?”
“Ten, I remember that Christmas. She nearly poisoned me with those damn cookies.”
“Ornaments, Cos. You weren’t supposed to eat them.” Abel rolls his eyes. “Anyways, put it up. The last thing she needs is something else upsetting her. Meet me downstairs once you are done. We have a lot of fucking work to do.”
“Yep,” I walk into her closet, looking for her box of photos, but a small purple zip drive catches my attention. “What the fuck is this?”
Eliana
I’m stepping out of the shower when I hear the bathroom door click shut, and I’m immediately on high alert until I feel Jaxx’s arms wrap around my waist from behind.
“I really am sorry, Jaxx.” I lean into him, avoiding his gaze in the mirror.
“Look at me, baby. Look.” He turns me to him, lifting me onto the counter, and steps between my parted thighs. Tilting my chin up with his index finger, he softly kisses my nose as he continues smiling. “There is nothing to apologize for. You didn’t do anything wrong. If I was a weaker man, things would have gone much differently.”
“Oh yeah? How is that?” I laugh, rolling my eyes. “Running from the room, screaming because there was a disgusting, clearly insane woman begging for you to bang the sad out of her?”
“Oh, for fucks sake,” he laughs, hugging me close to him. “You have to know that me not making love to you had nothing to do with your looks, right?”
I hold him close, breathing deeply. “Honestly, Jaxx? I don’t know anything anymore. I haven’t been sure of who I am in quite some time.”
“Eliana, I didn’t make love to you because it wasn’t the right thing to do. It’s not what you really need. You need love. You need a partner. You don’t need to be used and tossed to the side. You have to see that, right? How would you feel right now if we had gone through with things last night?”
I look away, knowing he is right. “I just wish…“ I avert my gaze.
“Tell me.” He smiles softly, turning my face back to his.
I release a sigh. “Things are so tangled, Jaxx. Joshua is-” I fight back tears. “-gone. Costin was never an option. Even when he was, he wasn’t. Doesn’t matter how I feel about him. Not after everything. You have been pushed into marrying me even though you aren’t in