don’t tell her absolutely everything. I don’t tell her that her mom is already dead. It wasn’t the disease that killed her though, though. She was killed by a man last week and then buried on the West Mesa. I’d seen him one day when Earl let me out to go to the store by myself. That’s why I recognized her mother. Kelly was his first offense. The one that got him sentenced to hell.
She hadn’t been lying when she said she was dying. I asked only because I wondered if Kim knew the truth. Her mom was lying, however, when she told Earl she was going to find her aunt Donna. Kelly was never going to look for Donna, and she was never coming back for Kim.
Of course, I don’t tell Kim any of that, either. I just tell her the weird stuff. By that point, she is so excited, she’s sitting right next to me.
“But what if she’s not a dream?”
“Dutch? She has to be. People like that don’t really exist. No one is made of light.”
“I think you’re wrong. I think she’s real.” She leans back against the wall and stares into space. “I think she will be beautiful and strong and she will kill bad guys with her superpowers.”
I lean back, too. “If she does, she’ll have to kill me, too.”
She bolts upright. “Nuh-uh.”
“Uh-huh,” I argue.
“You’re wrong.” She wraps her arm in mine. “You’re not bad. You gave me noodles.”
“Well, that settles it, then.”
“Wait,” she says, straightening. “Is—? Is my mom going to hell when she dies?”
“No,” I say.
Kim nestles beside me again, and I’m thankful she can’t feel other people’s emotions. She doesn’t know I just lied to her.
Kim’s mom never shows up, which is understandable, since she’s burning in hell, but all of a sudden Earl seems okay with Kim being there. He’s never okay with anything. Ever. Unless there’s an angle in it for him. About two days later, I find out what that is. And my plans for leaving are shot to hell.
10
After that—after the park incident in which Dutch helps her father find the body of a little girl, a girl her own age, actually—her father goes to her one night. I’m there, too. I hadn’t been drawn there that night. I simply wanted to be there. To see her. To feel whole.
I stay back so I don’t scare her. Her father goes to her room and tells her they’ve found the little girl’s body. He is confused, I can tell. He’s scared. Not of Dutch, but of what she can do. What she can see.
“Of course you found her,” Dutch says. “She told me where she was.”
She is wearing a pink nightgown and lime green socks. Classic Dutch style.
“How?” he asks. He stands and rakes a hand through his hair.
Dutch is confused, too. “She opened her mouth and told me.”
“Charley,” he says, sitting beside her again.
She is holding a doll and twirling its hair in her fingers.
“How did she tell you, honey? I don’t understand.”
She lifts a tiny shoulder, unable to comprehend what his problem is.
“Sweetheart.” He takes the doll out of her hands and lifts her chin. “Explain to me exactly how … how she told you.”
“Daddy, I don’t understand now. She just told me. Was she not ’posed to?”
He lowers his head lets out a frustrated sigh.
“Oh, and Jacob wants me to tell you that his girlfriend killed him. No one knows. They think she was out of town, but she gave her credit card to a friend, broke into his house as he was taking a shower, and stabbed him.” She looks over at the man in her room. The naked one covered from head to toe in blood.
From the looks of it, the woman did more than stab him. He has burn marks on his body. Brandings. Like something ritualistic.
Neither the blood nor his nakedness throws Dutch. She is already used to such horrors. Such atrocities.
Maybe that’s why I long to be near her. Maybe it’s her sense of everydayness. Her acceptance of anyone, no matter how they died. No matter how they lived.
“Jacob?” her dad asks. “Jacob Townsend?”
She looks at the man. He kneels beside her bed so she doesn’t see him down there. He nods.
“Yep,” she says, picking up her doll again. “Her name is Beth and he says she’s crazier than a gallon of Pop Rocks.”
Her dad puts the doll down again. “Sweetheart, how do you know about Jacob Townsend? We just found