I vowed not to miss any more.
Of course, taking the job with the Steels would consume a lot of my time. Which was okay. My mother still needed her grandson, and I needed to start earning a paycheck. A very big paycheck, if I took the Steels’ offer.
“It sounds amazing,” my mother said after I’d given her the details.
“We can even move onto the ranch if we want to,” I said. “They’re offering us use of the guesthouse.” Which would be close to Marjorie. The ranch was a big place, though. I could still stay far away from her most of the time.
“This is our home.” My mother gestured around our modest living room.
“Yeah. But this home has a lot of shitty memories, don’t you think?”
She sighed. “I’ve been trying to focus on the good memories. We had many.”
“We did,” I admitted. “All while Dad was leading a double life.”
My mother swallowed. “That never leaves my mind.”
“I’ve been thinking. We could rent this house out. The rent would pay the mortgage, which will be paid in full soon. Then we could continue to rent it out.”
“Who would want to live here? And if we sell, who would want to buy it? The whole town now knows who and what your father was.”
She had a fair point.
My mother seemed to have aged five years in the past several months. I definitely had a few more gray hairs myself. It didn’t help that when I looked in the mirror, a younger version of my father stared back at me. Normally, that would be a good thing. My dad had been a very handsome man. All I saw now, though, was the monster he truly was.
Yes, I saw a monster in the mirror.
Consequently, I avoided mirrors like the plague.
“All right, Mom. We’ll stay here in town.”
“On the other hand,” she said, “I wouldn’t mind leaving. Everything in this house has a memory. Mostly good memories, but memories that have soured. Really soured.”
“I know.” God, how I knew.
“Maybe we should move to the ranch,” she said. “But seriously, they can’t just be giving you a house.”
“No. I mean, yes, but it’s part of the compensation package should I choose to accept it. I won’t own it, but reasonable rent would be deducted from my compensation.”
“You don’t feel like this is charity?”
“No. I thought so at first, but they do need a CFO, and I am qualified for the job.”
“They already have a CFO.”
“He’s retiring.”
“So good timing, then.”
“Seems so.”
“What do we do with this place, though? If we can’t rent it or sell it…” She darted her gaze around the room.
“We try to rent it, I guess. If that doesn’t pan out, we try to sell it. And if that doesn’t pan out, we keep it empty.”
“What about squatters?”
“In a small town like Snow Creek?” I shook my head. “I doubt we have to worry about that. Plus, eventually someone new will move here looking for a place to live, and they won’t know or care that a monster once lived here.”
“From your mouth to God’s ears.” My devout mother crossed herself. “You do what you think is right, Bryce. Thank you for including me in your plans.”
“Of course, Mom. We need each other right now. I’d never let you flounder alone.”
“I don’t want to be a thorn in your side. You’re still young. You can still have—”
I quieted her with a gesture. “You and Henry are my family. Nothing else is in the cards for me. I’ve accepted that. Besides, I’m thirty-eight years old. I’m too old to start a family now.”
“That’s silly, Bryce. I know you’ve taken care of me and Henry for the past couple of months, but I’m your mother, not your child. I appreciate all you’ve done since your father’s death, but you don’t have to take care of me.”
She was kind to say so, but finding out her husband of forty years was a psychopath living a double life had taken its toll. My mother was a strong woman, but I couldn’t ask her to live alone.
“You’ll come with Henry and me wherever we go,” I said.
“Not if it means you’re sacrificing having a real family. I won’t do that to you.” She sniffed back a sob. “I can’t. Not after everything. You deserve happiness.”
“Who says I’m not happy?” I forced a smile.
“I see it all over your face. You’re not moving forward, Bryce. You need to do that.”
“I think that’s what taking the job with the Steels is