It is what it is.”
“Am I supposed to feel lucky?”
Joe took a sip of coffee and paused a moment. Then, “I don’t know. I often thought the same thing. I never felt lucky, though.”
“I don’t either.”
“It took a while, but I learned to focus on the good. I learned that Talon didn’t blame me for what happened to him. He never did. And no one blames you for what your father did.”
“But the guilt, man. How do you let go of that?”
“A lot of soul searching.” He smiled. “And the love of a good woman helps.”
The love of a good woman…
Marjorie. She was as good as they came. And the best woman in the world deserved someone whole.
That was not me.
“You lucked out. You got a good woman who is also trained to help you through the crap.”
He laughed. “You think I married Melanie to have a live-in therapist?”
“No. That didn’t come out right. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I lucked out in a lot of ways with Melanie. I don’t deny it. But I married her for love. True love. Not her talents and abilities. Not her intelligence. Not her amazing body and blond beauty, either. We fell in love. Simple as that.”
“I’m not ready for a relationship,” I said.
“That’s cool. Just take things one day at a time. Talk to Melanie if you need to. Or she can recommend someone else if you’re uncomfortable talking to your best friend’s wife. But you need to do something, Bryce. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ve gone downhill.”
I sighed. “Now why would I take that the wrong way?”
“Come on. You and I don’t mince words. We never have.”
I nodded. “True.”
“Remember our wedding in Jamaica? You were in a great mood for those couple days.”
“There was a nude beach, and I had a buzz going the whole time,” I said truthfully. “It hit me harder about a month later. I think I was numb at first, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it. Like I’ve said before. Been there, done that. But you’ve got a son. And even if you didn’t, you’ve got a life, man. You’re alive.”
“And so many others aren’t because of my father.”
“True. There’s no sugarcoating it. But you’re not dead, Bryce, so here’s my best advice, whether you want it or not. Don’t live your life as if you are.”
I opened my mouth, though I had no response. Thankfully, I was interrupted by Ryan Steel ambling into the kitchen. “Hey, I’m not that late, am I?”
“We were early,” Joe said.
A few seconds later, Marjorie arrived, her long dark hair hanging in wet waves. She sauntered in barefoot, wearing her trademark skinny jeans and fitted T.
My breath caught. Always breathless around this woman.
She regarded her brothers and laughed. “Yeah, yeah. I know. You’re hungry. Eggs, toast, and Canadian bacon will be ready in five.”
“You’re a gem,” Ryan said.
“And don’t forget it! You’re just lucky I love cooking.”
“We never forget that, Sis,” Ryan said jovially.
Ryan Steel had always been jovial, always had a smile on his sculpted face. We’d all found out recently that he was actually a half brother to the other Steel siblings. Still, though, his old personality shone through as if nothing had occurred.
Of course, he’d also found love. With Ruby Lee, a former police detective, who was the daughter of the one man who might rival my father for being the worst psycho in the world.
Reality hit me like a brick. All the Steels, including Marj, had been through just as much, or more, as I had, and they were still functioning, not allowing themselves to sink in the quicksand of self-pity.
They were better than I.
Another reason I needed to turn down whatever they were offering.
I eyed Marjorie’s perfect ass as she fried eggs at the gas cooktop. Marjorie. She was the main reason I’d turn down the Steel brothers.
I had to stay away from her.
If I didn’t, I’d hurt her.
Her brothers would never forgive me.
And I’d never forgive myself.
Chapter Seventeen
Marjorie
My back was burning. I actually felt Bryce’s blue eyes on me as I cooked breakfast for him and my brothers.
Maybe it was my imagination. Maybe he wasn’t feeling what I was feeling.
What we’d shared couldn’t be one-sided, could it?
Yeah, he didn’t want my brothers to know. I understood. I didn’t want them to know either. Not yet, anyway. It was too new. Telling anyone, even Jade, would make it seem slightly less exciting.
Except that I was both excited and sad.
Bryce had made it clear this had been