up?”
Good question. Am I holding up? Sometimes it feels like I’ll make it. Sometimes it feels like I’m sinking to the bottom, that I’ll be nothing but a footnote in future hockey commentary.
“It’s been hard,” I say finally. I can’t take his penetrating stare and look away. “I’ve faced adversity before, plenty of tragedy, but this feels… different. Like I’m giving everything I have to fight a battle I might not win. It feels so big, so outside of my control. But I’m still pushing through, Coach. I want to get back on the ice more than anything. I want this more than anything. So until you tell me to stop, I’ll keep going at a hundred and ten percent. A hundred twenty-five when Carlos lets me.”
He’s still staring when I meet his gaze again, a pensive look on his face. “I’m never going to tell you to stop and neither will any of the guys in this organization.” He sighs, probably reading my fear. “You should know that Sandy stopped in earlier, along with that girlfriend of yours. Explained the whole damn thing and said it was bullshit. Carlos confirmed you’re on track and we don’t need to worry on that front. Not that they had to tell us that. Anyone who’s met you would know the truth, but my point is, your people—your team—is solid and has your back.” He leans forward, leveling a look at me. “I know you probably feel like you’re insignificant right now. That you’re alone and the world has moved on without you. This place is a tomb when you’re on the list, but you’re still our man, Levesque. Got it? So keep going. Keep fighting because we need you as much as you need us. Stay all in, because we’re all in on you.”
I pull in a heavy breath, clinging to his words like a lifeline. He has no idea how much I needed to hear that. Or maybe he does, thanks to Sandy and the testimony of my team. Strangely, my five-on-none suddenly feels like a power play instead. “Thanks, Coach. That means a lot. I promise to keep giving it everything I have.”
He offers an emphatic nod before waving me toward the door. “Oh, and Oliver.”
I turn back to meet his gaze.
“Do me a favor and stay out of the headlines for one damn minute, though, okay?”
CHAPTER 18
Rock the boat ‘til it floats where it needs to go
Through wind and snow
Starred heights, depths below
Stand tall through the storm
And believe your sea
Is not your death
But your destiny
GENEVIEVE
Oliver pulls into the lot of the Turner Artist Management building, and my chest immediately lifts with relief. Does he even know how incredible he is? That his strength isn’t in his body, but his spirit? It’s like he holds up those around him just by being near them. I think back to that first day in the conference room at the practice center. His smile, his light spread through us all, but did irreparable damage to the darkness that ruled my world. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. Now, I expect his expression to be dark after everything that’s happened. Something like this would have knocked me down hard, but he looks like his normal, sunny self as he emerges from the drivers’ seat. My heart rate picks up like it always does when I see him. Tall, strong, fearless—my stomach flutters from the anticipation of looping my arm through his, feeling the constriction of solid muscle as I lean on him. I’ve never felt this way about a man, not even Darryn who I’d been engaged to marry for a brief minute. It’s like Oliver is so confident in who he is and what he wants that the ugly of this world rolls right off him. I’ve always been a sponge.
“Thanks, Devin,” I say, pushing open my door.
“I’ll get your crutches, Ms. Fox,” he says.
Our movements catch Oliver’s attention, and he shifts direction to walk toward us. His breathtaking smile grows when he sees me through the open door, and heat runs up my chest into my cheeks. Am I blushing? How do I still blush around him? He’s the sun, that’s why.
“You ready to do this?” he asks, ducking into the doorway to make eye contact.
Despite the flare of panic that rushes through me at what I’m about to do, I feel a smile tickle my lips. It’s hard to believe that just a few weeks ago fear had me