again when no words come out. I shake my head again. No. No, that doesn’t make sense. My gaze swings to Hadley who looks away. What? Is she confirming or denying? “No. That can’t be true.” The words come out this time, and I study my mother’s face for any sign of dissent. A lie. They lie, right? That can’t be true. Why won’t Hadley look at me?!
“I’m so sorry. I tried to warn you. Athletes are fickle. He’s probably gone back to that Regina woman.”
I glare up at her, clenching my fist on the sheet. “He didn’t even know her.”
“So he said. I have sources that say differently.”
“Then your sources are liars too.”
“Oh, sweetie. I know you’re hurt, but—”
“Fine, then give me my phone and let me hear it from him. Let him tell me I’m not worth a scandal.”
There. Her eyes shift for a second, a flicker of alarm. I feel sick. Oh god, what did she do?
“Give me my phone!” I demand.
“Really, Gen. You’re making a scene,” she hisses in a whisper.
I turn to Hadley. “Give me yours,” I say, holding out my hand. Hadley’s gaze brushes my mother before landing back on me.
“Don’t do it, Hadley,” my mother says. “You know she needs to rest.”
“What I need is to hear my boyfriend’s voice,” I snap, holding out both hands on either side of the bed. I don’t care who freaking gives me a phone at this point.
My mom’s eyes narrow with a coldness that shocks me. “That boy is not your boyfriend.”
“Yes. He is. Now give me my phone.”
“No, he’s not. He never deserved you, Genevieve. He’s done nothing but turn you against us and ruin everything we’ve worked for our entire lives. He’s bad for you. How can you not see that?”
“No, he’s shown me the truth about everything you’ve worked for. He’s shown me how to find the person I really am. The person I was meant to be. Now, give me my phone!”
My mom crosses her arms, looking obstinate, and I seriously consider the fact that I may have to call security on my own mother.
“Well, one day you will see that it’s for the best. You will thank me for protecting you when you wouldn’t protect yourself. So now you can relax and focus on getting better. I’ve already taken care of the entire thing with Selena. No one blames you for any of it. In fact, Selena thinks this will actually help your tour and album sales. You should see the outpouring of support for you right now.”
My blood runs cold. Oh no. “What have you done?” My voice is barely a whisper. When her expression hardens, my gaze snaps to Hadley. “What did she do? What’s going on?”
Hadley looks stricken as she blinks and sends me a silent plea. The air thins around me, nausea welling within me again as the panic returns. Not the old kind that can be fixed with a sheet over a mirror and a few deep breaths. This is the new kind. The cavernous abyss of a forever I don’t want and the absence of the one thing I do.
I can’t do it. It’s too much. There’s no color. No light. No air.
“Gen? What is it? You okay?” Hadley’s tone has changed back to concerned caretaker. Can she see I’m drowning?
Tears flood my eyes. “Give me your phone. Please!” I gasp out. I’m sobbing now, unable to catch my breath. I need him. I need him. Where’s Oliver?
A nurse rushes in, pausing when she takes in the scene. The monitors must be telling them the frightening story of my life right now. That I’m dying, just not physically.
“What is it? Are you in pain?” she asks, glancing at the others before focusing on me.
“Yes! And I need her out! Now!” I point at my mother, who stiffens and looks hurt. “Leave!” I scream, waving at her. She takes a step back, still unsure, and I swat my hand again. “I want her out! Now!”
“Ms. Fox, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the nurse says to my mother. “We need her to calm down.”
“But, she’s my—”
“I understand that, but right now, the best thing you can do is give her space. We’ll call you when she’s ready.”
I could laugh at that. A crazy, maniacal laugh. When I’m ready for what? For the lies? For the nothing? I’m not dying. I’m dead. I’ve been dead for a long time. But they don’t care. Corpses