care of it, dear. Why don’t you go find your father?”
“Is he lost?” Kim replied with the same look of innocence Jim always wore when he tortured her with the same kind of response.
“Just go, all right? I need to talk to your sister.”
“Do I have to?” Kim begged. “I could talk to her too.”
“I’m sure you could,” Carol observed. “But right now I want to talk to her alone.”
Kim cocked her head, her eyes narrowing inquisitively. “Are you gonna talk about Alex?”
“Possibly,” Carol parried.
“Is Alex going to die?”
“I don’t know,” Carol replied, sticking to the policy of total honesty she’d always followed in raising her children. “But that’s something we won’t talk about until it happens. I hope it won’t. Now, run along and find your father.”
Kim, who had long since learned when she’d pushed her luck as far as it would go, headed down the stairs as Carol tapped at Lisa’s door.
“Lisa? May I come in?”
There was no answer, but a moment later Carol heard a click as Lisa turned the key from the inside. The door opened a few inches, and Carol saw Lisa’s retreating back as the girl returned to her bed, sprawled out on her back, and fixed her gaze on the ceiling. Carol stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked. When there was no reply, Carol crossed to the bed and sat down on the edge of it. Lisa moved slightly to one side to make more room. “Well, I want to talk about it,” Carol went on. “I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong.”
Lisa’s tear-streaked face turned slowly toward her mother, who reached out to brush a stray hair from her brow. “It was my fault, Mom,” she said, her voice bleak. “It was all my fault.”
“We’re not going to go over it all again,” Carol told her. “I’ve heard the whole story too many times already. If you want to feel guilty, you can feel guilty about talking Alex into going to that party. But that’s all you can feel guilty about. It was Alex who drank the beer, and it was Alex who was driving the car.”
“But he had to swerve—”
“Only because he was driving too fast. He caused the accident, Lisa. Not you.”
“But … but what if he dies?”
Carol bit her lip, then took a deep breath. “If he dies, then we will all feel very badly for a while. Ellen and Marsh will feel badly for a long time. But the world won’t end, Lisa. And if Alex does die, that won’t be your fault any more than the accident was your fault.”
“But Carolyn Evans said—”
“Carolyn Evans is a selfish, spoiled brat, and you weren’t the only one who heard her say it was all your fault. I’ve talked to Bob Carey and Kate Lewis tonight, and they both told me exactly what Carolyn meant. She meant that if you hadn’t left the party, then Alex wouldn’t have either, and that the accident might not have happened. And do you know what she was worried about? Not you, and not Alex. The only thing that concerned darling Carolyn was the fact that her party was no longer going to be her little secret. Also, as far as I know, Carolyn was the only person at the party who didn’t bother to go to the Center last night. All she did was go home and try to clean up the house.”
“It doesn’t make any difference what she meant,” Lisa said, rolling over to face the wall. “It still doesn’t change the way I feel.”
Carol sat silently for a few seconds, then reached out and pulled Lisa close. “I know, honey. And I suppose you’re going to have to get over that feeling your own way. In the meantime, what about Alex?”
Lisa stirred suddenly, and sat up. “Alex? What about him?”
“Suppose he wakes up?”
“He will wake up,” Lisa said. “He has to.”
“Why? So you can stop feeling sorry for yourself? Is that why you want him to wake up? So it will make you feel better?”
Lisa’s eyes widened with shock. “Mom! That’s an awful thing to say—”
Carol shrugged. “Well, what else can I think?” She took Lisa’s hands in her own. “Lisa, I want you to listen very carefully. There’s a chance that Alex may survive all this, and there’s a chance he may wake up. But if he does, he’s going to be in bad shape, and he’s