turn you on. I definitely don’t feel sexy.”
“You’re always sexy to me. What about you? Are you in the mood for a little loving?”
Gianna grimaced. “My mind says yes, but every exhausted and healing part of my body says no.”
I kissed her temple and leaned back. “Whenever you feel ready, I’m here, waiting for you.”
Gianna relaxed back into my arm with a smile. “Sometimes I wish I could tell seventeen-year-old Gianna that you’re not as bad as she thinks.”
“Not as bad? That’s all you’d tell her?”
She nicked the skin at my neck. “Oh no, I’d tell her how amazing in bed you are, with your tongue and your cock and your fingers and every other part of your body as well.”
I groaned. “You’re torturing me.”
“It’s something we’re both good at.”
“You’re better at it, babe, much better.”
Gianna
Matteo let out a low whistle. “You are sex on legs, aren’t you?”
I glanced toward the door, narrowing my eyes. He leaned in the doorway, tight white dress shirt hugging his abs and pecs, dark hair perfectly mussed up, and just overall male perfection.
He was sex on legs, the bastard. I, in comfy sweatpants that didn’t squeeze my poor frayed vagina, without makeup, unwashed hair and stains on my shirt where milk had leaked out of my stupid breasts was a full-blown nightmare. Three weeks since I’d given birth and I’d reached a low point. Matteo was back to working every day and I couldn’t deny it: I was envious.
Seeing his grin, I considered committing my first murder. I could probably make it look like self-defense. After all, Matteo was a notorious mobster. “Oh shut up, or I’ll throw the fucking milk bottle at your head.”
Matteo clucked his tongue. “No cussing around our precious offspring, or have you forgotten?”
I raised the milk bottle. I alternated between breastfeeding and milk from the bottle to give my poor nipples time to recuperate. I wasn’t sure if Isa was particularly bad at nursing or if my nipples weren’t made for mom-life. “Last warning.”
Isabella let out a wail and I let my arm sink with a quiet sigh. Matteo came in, kissed my temple and took our girl from me, cradling her in his arm. He took the bottle. “I’m taking over the rest of the night. Grab a couple of hours of sleep.”
At first, I’d felt bad because I couldn’t only breastfeed our daughter like Lily seemed to be doing with ease but now I was glad that she took the bottle and Matteo or Aria could feed her as well. “Are you sure? You must be tired,” I said despite the bone deep exhaustion in my body.
Matteo had been gone all night on some kind of business that he and Luca had to conduct and that usually didn’t mean anything good. Most of the time it involved risky attacks on outposts of the motorcycle club they were at war with.
Something dark flashed across Matteo’s face. “I’m good. Adrenaline.”
“You shouldn’t risk your life now that we’ve got Isabella,” I muttered. Recently, the conflicts with the Bratva and the MCs who worked with them had escalated. At least, the Outfit lay low. There was enough money to be made for all crime families so I’d never understood why they insisted on fighting each other, except for pride and testosterone.
“I didn’t, Gianna. Luca and I dealt with a few Russians that got caught.”
My nose wrinkled because I knew what that meant. Matteo regarded me as he rocked Isabella gently. I gave him a tired smile then kissed him again. I didn’t like what he did but I loved him. “Thanks.”
Matteo nodded and peered down at Isabella, then gently nudged her lips with the bottle. She latched on to it and began drinking.
Relieved, I moved toward the bed and crept under the covers. Despite the lights, I fell asleep almost instantly.
The weeks dragged on, night and day blurring into each other. I got a better handle on Isa’s feeding and sleeping schedule, and even managed to squeeze in a shower almost every day.
I really started feeling more like myself when I was cleared for working out by my doctor six weeks after giving birth. The first time I stepped into my gym, I really felt like past-Gianna, as if there was room for me besides being a mom. Cara waved at me from behind the reception desk. She had taken over a few classes and also the reception duties since she’d been working out in my gym from the very start.