a phantom to her, too.
And with that reunion... it was like I was emerging from a cave-one I'd been in for almost five weeks-into the bright light of day. When Dimitri had turned, I'd felt like I'd lost part of my soul. When I'd left Lissa, another piece had gone. Now, seeing her... I began to think maybe my soul might be able to heal. Maybe I could go on after all. I didn't feel 100 percent whole yet, but her presence filled up that missing part of me. I felt more like myself than I had in ages.
A world of questions and confusion hung in the silence between us. In spite of everything we'd been through with Avery, there was still a lot of unresolved business from when I had first left the school. For the first time since I'd set foot on the Academy's grounds, I felt afraid. Afraid that Lissa would reject me or scream at me for what I'd done.
Instead, she drew me into a giant hug. "I knew it," she said. She was already choking on her sobs. "I knew you'd come back."
"Of course," I murmured into her shoulder. "I said I would."
My best friend. I had my best friend back. If I had her, I could recover from what had happened in Siberia. I could go on with my life.
"I'm sorry," she said. "So sorry for what I did."
I pulled away in surprise. Stepping into the room, I shut the door behind us. "Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?" Despite my joy at seeing her, I'd come here expecting her to still be angry at me for leaving. None of that mess with Avery would have happened if I'd stayed around. I blamed myself.
She sat down on her bed, eyes wet. "For what I said... when you left. I had no right to say the things I did. I have no right to control you. And I feel horrible because..." She ran a hand over her eyes, trying to dry the worst of the tears. "I feel horrible because I told you I wouldn't bring back Dimitri. I mean, I know it didn't matter, but I should have still offered to-"
"No, no!" I sank down in front of her and grabbed her hands, still awed to be with her again. "Look at me. You have nothing to be sorry for. I said things I shouldn't have, too. It happens when people are upset. Neither of us should beat ourselves up over it. And as for bringing him back..." I sighed. "You did the right thing in refusing. Even if we had found him before he'd been turned, it wouldn't have mattered. You can't safely bond more than one person. That's what went wrong with Avery."
Well, that was part of what had gone wrong with Avery. Manipulation and abuse of power had played a huge role too.
Lissa's sobs quieted. "How did you do that, Rose? How were you there at the end when I needed you? How did you know?"
"I was with another spirit user. I met her in Siberia. She can actively reach into people's minds-anyone's, not just those she's bonded to-and communicate. Like Avery could, actually. Oksana reached into me while I connected to you. It's really strange how it all went down." To say the least.
"Another power I don't have," said Lissa ruefully.
I grinned. "Hey, I have yet to meet any spirit user who can throw a punch like you can. That was poetry in motion, Liss."
She groaned, but I sensed her pleasure at my use of the old nickname. "I hope I don't ever have to do that again. I'm not meant to be a fighter, Rose. You're the one who charges out there. I'm the one who waits with moral support and post-battle healing." She held up her hands and looked at them. "Ugh. No. I definitely don't want to do any more hitting or punching."
"But at least now you know you can. If you ever want to practice..."
"No!" She laughed. "I've got too many things to practice with Adrian now-especially after you keep telling me about more and more things that everyone else can do with spirit."
"Fine. Maybe it's best if things go back to how they were."
Her face sobered. "God, I hope so. Rose... I did so many stupid things while Avery was around." Through the bond, I felt her greatest regret:
Christian. Her heart ached for him, and she'd shed a lot of tears. After