you going to get over Aaron?"
"You aren't telling me the truth. It's the same thing." It was an echo of Jill's sentiment. Lissa barely knew her and was really starting to hate her. "I just can't handle this. I can't be a part of you going back to your days of being a royal girl doing crazy stunts with your other royal friends."
Here's the thing. If Lissa had elaborated on her feelings more, on just how much her guilt and depression were eating her up and making her spin out of control... well, I think Christian would have been there for her in an instant. Despite his cynical exterior, he had a good heart-and Lissa owned most of it. Or used to. Now all he could see was her being silly and shallow and returning to a lifestyle he despised.
"I'm not!" she exclaimed. "I'm just... I don't know. It just feels good to sort of let loose."
"I can't do it," he said. "I can't be with you if that's your life now."
Her eyes went wide. "Are you breaking up with me?"
"I'm... I don't know. Yeah, I guess." Lissa was so consumed by the shock and horror of this that she didn't really see Christian the way I did, didn't see the agony in his eyes. It destroyed him to have to do this. He was hurting too, and all he saw was the girl he loved changing and becoming someone he couldn't be with. "Things aren't the way they used to be."
"You can't do that," she cried. She didn't see his pain. She saw him as being cruel and unfair. "We need to talk about this-figure it out-"
"The time for talking's past," he argued. "You should have been ready to talk sooner-not now, not when things suddenly aren't going your way."
Lissa didn't know whether she wanted to scream or cry. She just knew she couldn't lose Christian-not after losing me, too. If she lost both of us, there was nothing left for her in the world.
"Please, don't do this," she begged. "I can change."
"I'm sorry," he snapped. "I just don't see any evidence of that."
He turned and abruptly walked away. To her, his departure was harsh and cold. But again, I'd seen the anguish in his eyes. I think he left because he knew if he stayed, he wasn't going to be able to go through with this decision-this decision that hurt but that he felt was right. Lissa started to go after him when a hand suddenly pulled her back. She turned and saw Avery and Adrian standing there. From the looks on their faces, they'd overheard everything.
"Let him go," said Adrian gravely. He'd been the one to grab her. He dropped his hand and laced his fingers through Avery's. "Going after him now's just going to make it worse. Give him his space."
"He can't do this," said Lissa. "He can't do this to me."
"He's upset," said Avery, her concern mirroring Adrian's. "He isn't thinking straight. Wait for him to cool off, and he'll come around."
Lissa stared off after Christian's retreating figure, her heart breaking. "I don't know. I don't know if he will. Oh God. I can't lose him."
My own heart broke. I wanted so badly to go to her, to comfort her and be there for her. She felt so alone, and I felt horrible for leaving her.
Something had pushed her into this downward spiral, and I should have been there to help her out of it. That was what best friends did. I needed to be there.
Lissa turned back and looked at Avery. "I'm so confused... I don't know what to do."
Avery met her eyes, but when she did... the strangest thing happened. Avery wasn't looking at her. She was looking at me.
Oh jeez. Not you again.
The voice rang in my head, and snap! I was out of Lissa.
There it was, the mental shove, the brush of my mind and waves of hot and cold. I stared around my room, shocked at how abrupt the transition had been. Yet I'd learned something. I knew then that Lissa hadn't been the one to shove me out before or now. Lissa had been too distracted and too distraught. The voice? That hadn't been hers either.
And then, I finally remembered where I'd felt that brushing touch in my head. Oksana. It was the same sensation I'd experienced when she had reached out to my mind, trying to get a feel for my moods and intentions, an action that both