pulls back and wipes the tears from her cheeks, a hint of blush staining them as if she suddenly thinks she’s being melodramatic. “I’m going to run to the store and get you some supplies. You two are so busy working all the time, and since I’m the first to know, I feel like I should help you pull off this secrecy until your big announcement.”
I simply nod and watch while she can’t help but tidy the living area that’s already a thousand times more orderly than my condo before she waltzes out the front door in a flurry of smiles and tears of joy.
Long after it’s just the two of us, silence reigns supreme. He has his thinking expression on.
“Ollie,” I whisper, different kinds of tears choking my voice. “I don’t want to break her heart.”
I blink, then he’s kneeling on the carpet before me, but he won’t meet my gaze. He wraps my hands in his own. His voice is low, almost the brush of a whisper. “I am sorry. Truly. I am responsible for this misunderstanding, so I will tell her the truth. You will not have to break her heart. I will. But…Liv?” He raises his black-brown eyes that are framed with the thickest, lushest lashes. “You want a baby anyway. Maybe I could give you one.”
I stroke his cheek, unused to the feeling of so much scruff there. With all the chaos this morning, he hasn’t even gotten to shave yet. “Ollie, that’s really not how it works. I know your mom is kind of old-fashioned, but I wish that for you, too. You should give a baby to a woman you really love.”
He glances back down to the carpet with a sigh. “I know, I know. Romantic love and love between friends are not the same thing.”
“Yeah.” We had plans to decorate the outside of our condos for Halloween today. Now, I don’t know if we’ll even be able to look at each other for a few weeks. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look Mrs. Cucinelli in the eyes again. My heart feels painful and sluggish in my chest to think this might be the beginning of the end of me and Ollie. I knew it would probably happen someday. I just didn’t have time to prepare for the idea it would be today.
“Will you consider it?” he whispers, still staring at the floor. “You are exploring options for artificial insemination. At least I would not be a stranger.”
The implications of his words slap me in the face. “Oliver Leonardo Cucinelli, were you snooping on my computer?”
He snaps his wide-eyed gaze to mine. “You asked me to fix it. All those sites were what crashed it in the first place.”
Oh my God. All those sites…
At least half of them feature Joe Manganiello look-alikes.
I’m never going to be able to look Ollie in the eyes again.
4
Oliver
I do not like this feeling. Not at all. Dealing with uncertainty is not in my wheelhouse. Things either are, or they are not. It is hard enough to fly under the radar on a normal day, but when things don’t fit into neat little boxes? I cannot cope.
And now this string of lights isn’t working. I have been through the entire row of miniature bulbs with the tester. There is no reason for this problem. None.
“Oliver!”
“What?” I snap then immediately regret it.
Mr. Hooper looks like I kicked his dog. He does not own a dog. “I, uh, wanted to return your battery pack and thank you. Having trouble with the lights?”
“I am having trouble with a lot of things right now,” I mutter. “You should get a dog.”
That would make me feel much better. It would not solve the problem of my mom calling every day to ask how Olivia is feeling. It also would not make Liv speak to me again, but I like dogs. I am not allergic to them. I would certainly buy treats for Mr. Hooper’s dog and perhaps borrow it in exchange for use of my battery packs. I think I need a support animal to get through this life transition. I hate transitions.
Mr. Hooper’s expression is obviously confused, but he smiles after a few minutes of silence. “Well, now…I don’t think I’m responsible enough to take care of a dog, but I could help you with your lights.”
“Fine.” I throw them on the ground and gesture for him to take a look. I am not having any luck anyway,