the way I feel.
“I met one of the women you’ve slept with. Her name is Mara. She’s in the same dance company as me. We’ll be working side by side.” I slide him a glare. “She says she can’t wait to hook up with you again, by the way.”
God, I sound so jealous and ridiculous. I hate myself right now.
Ram looks confused. “I have no idea who that is.”
“Maybe you just don’t remember.”
He gives the glare right back to me. “I’m not a whore, Cadie. I know the names and faces of the women I’ve slept with. I have a reputation, yes, and like most people with those kinds of reputations, they get exaggerated. I guarantee I haven’t slept with as many women as you think I have, and I definitely haven’t slept with anyone named Mara. She sounds like a jealous, conniving bitch who’s trying to rattle you. Clearly it’s working.”
My stomach hurts. I want so badly for his words to be true.
“Have you slept with anyone since you’ve been with me?” I ask. I’m terrified of the answer, but I need to know.
“No,” he says without hesitation. “No fucking way. I haven’t even been able to think about other women since you came into my life.”
With my history with liars, I shouldn’t believe him. But I do.
He swallows hard. A muscle in his jaw ripples. “Have you?”
I look at him like it’s the most absurd question he could possible ask. “No, of course not.”
He lets out a long sigh and his whole body loses its rigid edges.
“That kind of makes us exclusive, doesn’t it?” he asks shyly. It’s kind of adorable. He even blushes.
“Is that what you want?” I ask.
“Yeah, I do. What about you?”
It’s time to let down my guard. He has a past that I’m not entirely comfortable with, but I won’t let it dictate my future. A future I want him to be a part of.
“More than anything,” I say.
12
Ram
Cadie is mine. All mine. Everything feels lighter somehow. All this worry about her fretting over some other guy is gone. The worry that she wasn’t as into me as I am into her, gone. Now it’s us, together, and I’m looking forward to our future as a couple. I don’t want anyone else. I have no interest in fucking anyone else or getting better at it. All I want is to get better at fucking her, and only her.
“I love you,” I blurt out like an idiot.
I shouldn’t have said that. It’s too soon. It’ll scare her away. She’ll think I’m moving too fast.
She surprises me by saying, “I love you too.” No hesitation, no reluctance. Her words are plain as day and full of emotion. I scoop her up into my arms. I need her right now. I need her so fucking bad.
I don’t take her to the bed because I know that’s the bed they shared, and though I know he’s not a threat, I don’t like the idea of it. I carry her to the couch. The dog jumps up and scrambles away.
This isn’t some gentle, romantic session. No, this is something else. This is animalistic. It’s us taking out all of our issues, expelling our demons. It’s getting rid of everything we have pent up inside. We strip off each other’s clothes in a frenzy. My mouth finds her naked breast and my lips clamp down around her nipple.
“Yes,” she cries, her head falling back as I devour the other breast.
When I let go of her, she drops to her knees in front of me, worshipping my cock. Her long, soft tongue traces a wet line from my balls and up my shaft to the head, where she dips the tip of her tongue into the slit.
She looks sexy doing it. I watch her every move as she opens her mouth wide and swallows my length deep into her throat. I groan, and pull my fingers through her hair. She tries to take it all, but it’s impossible. A valiant effort, though. She pulls back then dives right back in for more, causing wave after wave of pleasure. I hold the back of her head steady and slowly fuck her silky mouth. With one hand she plays with my balls, kneading the skin, rolling them between her fingers. With her other hand, she strokes the base of my cock.
She brings me to the edge and I pull out of her mouth before I can tip over the point of no return.
I