option. He has compromised and stayed true to his word of protecting me until the very end. I just wish I could do the same thing for him.
I can’t run away from my fears, but I can run. And that’s what I plan on doing. If I stay at a standstill a second longer, I’m sure to break down into tears. I nudge my head, implying let’s finish what we started.
Roman reads my inner turmoil, but I don’t give him a chance to address it. I take off in a sprint, needing some time to think. We jog in silence, my mind racing. I know I need to accept this, but I can’t.
As my mind whips relentlessly, so do my feet. I pick up the pace, not even realizing it. The faster I run, the more confused I feel. I need to find a solution. There must be something I’m missing. A lot can happen in six months, and to think Roman has given up has me wanting to fight twice as hard.
I catalog every scenario, eliminating endless situations because I’ve gone over them already. As I push my legs harder, my heart beats strongly within my chest. The sound is a hypnotizing pendulum, flaunting my strength and weakness.
The first color station is up ahead, indicating we’ve managed half a mile. Turning over my shoulder, I see Roman is a few feet behind. His cheeks are a bright red, and it’s clear he’s struggling to breathe.
This is exactly what he’s talking about. A year ago, I have no doubt he’d be close to the finish line. But this year, he’ll be lucky to make it a mile.
I push harder and harder, determined to save him. But how? I need a miracle. I need a sign.
People flash past me, and I know I’m running on pure adrenaline, but I’m afraid once I stop, I’ll have to face the truth. Roman is dying, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
An explosion of color detonates before me, a literal rainbow blazing before my eyes as I plunge past the first color station. Every single color imaginable coats my sweaty skin, transforming something plain into something magical.
My heart trounces inside my chest, uplifting my accomplishment because I thought I could never do it. But that’s the problem; Nothing’s wrong with my heart. It’s my head that’s the issue—the perfect oxymoron.
Peering down at my multicolored hands, I flip them over, desperate to uncover how these hands can help heal. There must be something I can do. I can’t stand back and watch him take his own life. Until every possible scenario is exhausted, I won’t give up. I can’t. Roman has never given up on me, and I don’t plan on giving up on him.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
I’m suddenly hit with a gravity so severe, I stagger backward, gasping for breath as I clutch at my chest. Through the kaleidoscopes of color, I have finally seen the light. I was looking in all the wrong places. The rainbow has led me to the simplest answer, one which has been staring me in the face all along.
Runners push past as I stand unmoving, bleeding colorful tears. I’m crying a rainbow, and it’s simply beautiful. I found my pot of gold. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner.
Turning my hands over and over again, for the first time in a long time, I have hope because…I know how I can save Roman.
I was declared the winner, and I was, just not in the way Roman thinks. We went back to his hotel to shower, after which Roman fell into a deep slumber.
His health is deteriorating. I can understand why he doesn’t want to live this way. That fact is the reason I haven’t slept a wink. I’ve researched well into the night, studying something I’m certain will save Roman.
I know without a doubt he’ll fight me on this. He’ll argue until he’s red in the face, so I need to compile a strong, unbending case, then he’ll have no other choice but to say yes.
I tell myself that as I’m looking over the billionth webpage on my phone.
There is no way he’s going to agree to this. I can see this conversation going down as the worst in history. But I have to try.
Gently rising from the bed, I tiptoe through the room, not wanting to wake Roman. He’s been out for the count for hours, and it doesn’t look like he’ll be waking