lips closed, immediately sorry I'd let that slip. "Why would you say that, Zoey?" Stevie Rae sounded utterly shocked. "I--I don't know. I didn't really mean it," I stuttered, not sure what I really meant or why I'd said it. "You're freaked, that's all," Erin said. "Of course you are. You knew both those kids," Shaunee added. "And on top of all of this, you saw a damn ghost today." Damien was studying me again. "Did you have a feeling about Brad before you heard he was dead, Zoey?" he asked quietly. "Yes. No." I sighed. "I thought he was dead as soon as I heard he'd been taken," I admitted. "Did any specifics come with the feeling? Do you know any thing more?" Damien said. As if Damien's questions had prodded them from my mem ory, the snatches of words that I'd heard Neferet speak replayed in my mind:... much too dangerous ... You may not have any more ... You cannot understand ... You may not question me .. . I felt a terrible chill that had nothing to do with the snowstorm outside. "Nothing specific came with the feeling. I have to go to my room," I said, suddenly unable to look at any of them. I hated lying, and doubted I could keep it up if I stayed with them much longer. "I have to finish up the words for the ritual tomorrow," I said lamely. "And I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm really tired."
"Okay, no problem. We understand," Damien said. They were all so obviously worried about me that I could barely meet their eyes. "Thanks, guys," I mumbled as I left the room. I was halfway up the stairs when Stevie Rae caught up with me. "Do you mind if I come back to the room now, too? I have a really bad headache. I really just want to go to sleep. I won't bug you while you study or anything."
"No, I don't mind," I said quickly. I glanced at her. She did look kinda pale. Stevie Rae was so sensitive that even though she didn't know Chris or Brad, their deaths were clearly upsetting her. Add to that my announcement about ghosts, and the poor kid probably was scared to death. I put my arm around her and gave her a squeeze as we came to our door. "Hey, everything's gonna be okay."
"Yeah, I know. I'm just tired." She grinned up at me, but she didn't sound as perky as usual. We didn't say much while we put on our pajamas. Nala scooted in through the cat door, jumped up on my bed, and was asleep almost as fast as Stevie Rae, which was a relief to me be cause I didn't have to pretend to be writing words to a ritual I'd already finished. There was something else I had to do, and I didn't want to explain any part of it to anyone, not even my best friend.
Chapter Eighteen
My Vampyre Sociology 415 text was exactly where I left it in the bookshelf over my computer desk. It was a senior or, as they're called here, sixth former level book. Neferet had given it to me shortly after I'd arrived when it was obvious that the Change go ing on within my body was happening at a different rate than what went on with normal fledglings. She'd wanted to pull me out of my third former Soc class and move me into the upper level section of Soc, but I'd managed to talk her out of it, saying that I was already different enough, I didn't need anything else to make me more of a freak to the rest of the kids here. Our com promise was that I would go through the 415 level text, chapter by chapter, and ask her questions along the way. Okay, well, I'd meant to do that, but what with one thing and another (taking over the Dark Daughters, dating Erik, regular schoolwork, and whatnot), I'd done little more than glance at the book on my shelf. With a sigh that sounded almost as tired as I felt, I took the book to bed and propped myself up on a mound of pillows. Despite the horrible events of the day, I had to struggle to keep my eyes open as I turned to the index and found what I was looking for: bloodlust. There were a whole string of page numbers after the word,