energy spreading through me like fire, blurring the edges of my vision. I can’t remember ever being so alert.
And then I see him coming out of the men’s bathroom and I’m struck by how much I want to hit him or kiss him or both, anything to just be touching him, to release some of this energy into him so that he can feel just as alive as I do.
I charge in his direction. When he notices me, his face breaks into an easy smile, but it soon disappears when I fly at him.
“You told guys not to hit on me?”
“What?” His forehead wrinkles and his hand immediately goes up into his hair like I knew it would, like it always does.
“What gives you the right, Drew? All this time I thought nobody liked me because of me, and all along it was because of you. All these parties you’ve been getting with girls and I’ve had to go sleep on the couch by myself, and I was so lonely and left out because everyone else was hooking up and getting boyfriends and having sex and I thought something was wrong with me, when it was all your fault!”
“Collins, what are you talking about?” he asks, leaning into me with his voice lowered. I’m vaguely aware we’re still in the ballroom, surrounded by people. Abby Feliciano is standing a few feet to our left, texting something on her phone, and when I look at her, she giggles and looks away. But I don’t care.
“You’re such a hypocrite!” I hit him on the shoulder. “You’re allowed to sleep with every girl on the planet and I’m not allowed to get with anyone? Is it because I’m a girl, Drew? I’m just a delicate freaking flower you have to look after? I don’t need you to protect me. I never stopped girls from getting with you. I was the best wingman!”
The Wingman and the Cockblock. We’re like a depressing superhero duo of doom.
“I know you’re not a delicate flower,” he says, reaching out to me. He puts a hand on my shoulder and I shrug it off. “Clearly. Come on, Collins, I just didn’t want you to get your heart broken.”
“My heart isn’t your problem,” I say, and my voice cracks, because of course I want it to be. “You should have let me get my heart broken. That’s just a part of life, isn’t it? You can’t keep me locked away in a tower like freaking Rapunzel!” He takes a step toward me and I take a step back, needing to get away from him before I do something stupid. “You’re not my brother or my boyfriend.”
“Keely, I didn’t mean . . . I just know these guys and I hear the way they talk and I didn’t want that for you. You deserve better. You deserve someone who loves you.” His voice is soft and kind and it kills me.
“Well, how am I supposed to find that if you won’t let anyone near me?”
“You found someone anyway, didn’t you?” he says. “Where’s your date?”
“I don’t know,” I answer. He could be standing right behind me at this point and I wouldn’t notice. My entire focus is on this conversation, on this fight. “Did you tell him to stay away too?”
“Of course he’s missing.” Andrew sighs. He shoves his hands into his pockets. “Typical.”
“Why do you hate him?” I’m yelling now, and I can see that Abby has completely given up on her text, watching us with rapt attention.
“I don’t hate him,” he says, and then shakes his head, pulling his hands out of his pockets. “Actually, you know what, I do hate him. I have every right to. You used me to get with him. You fucking said his name while we were hooking up. You’re the hypocrite, Collins. You get mad at me for using girls, for hooking up with girls when it doesn’t mean anything, but you’re the master at using people. You didn’t even care about my feelings.”
“You never care about anyone’s feelings!” I say, throwing my hands into the air. “You’ve been sleeping with girls for years, throwing them away the second