would say those words to me... The thoughts in his heart...even if they're flawed, it's better than the way he shut me out.
I just wish he'd talk to me. Invite me in.
But I guess Chester probably wishes the same of Piers...
After struggling hard to stay with it, my eyelids finally shut like they'd never open again. My eyes burned. I could still hear Piers tidying up, or whatever it was that he was doing, and the sound soothed me back to sleep.
I had a strange dream in which I was naked in an open meadow with nowhere to hide, and my magic wouldn't work to conjure clothing. Dark clouds gathered overhead from the west, and from the same direction, Variel was riding toward me on a huge black horse. I was horrified that he might see me naked again, but suddenly a man was there to protect me.
"Here you are, Celeste..." He threw a long woolen jacket around me. At first I thought it was Bernard but then he became Piers instead.
I became aware of a hand on my forehead and jolted awake, thinking Variel was back, but Bevan was looking down at me, and it was his warm hand on my skin. It was dark and quiet now in the faery palace.
His small, private smile greeted me. "Good evening, sleepyhead. I'm so glad to see your eyes... Piers said you were awake for a while. Awake for him and not me? Really, now."
"It's you I wanted to see," I said. And it was--oh, it certainly was! Bevan was the only person I'd ever known who I relaxed around so deeply. He was the one I really wanted to give myself over to, completely and always.
"You don't know how much I wish you were my warlock," I said, the covers rustling as he moved to sprawl beside me in the bed. "Ooh, my voice is even more of a croak than before. I sound terrible."
"You look much better, toadlet," he said, kissing my forehead. "And someday I'll be something better than your warlock, I expect."
"Well, I wish you were everything. Because then I would have every sort of bond with you."
"I would rather we don't have a magical bond," Bevan said. "That's how we'll be absolutely sure that our feelings are real and we act of our own free will."
"You have a point." I lifted my head, even though it seemed to weigh a hundred pounds, to look at him better. "Are you...bigger?"
"I took some of Variel's magic from him," Bevan said, with pride. "Did you notice that he was smaller, too? I stole some of his power and his size. I don't seem to grow horns, though, which I guess is all right, but they're kind of cool."
"You're huge!" It was hard to tell at first when he was laying down, but I realized that I was absolutely tiny beside him now. Even his hands were larger. "I'm not sure I like it!"
He was still smiling even as he shook his head. "You'll get used to it, I'm sure. I'm stronger and more able to stand up to Variel. That's definitely a good thing."
"I don't want to look like a kid next to you! And--what about..." My eyes roved to his groin. It still didn't have a bulge like Variel's, but Variel did wear tighter pants. "What if your penis is too big?" I whispered.
He laughed outright. "I promise you that as you get more experience with penises..." He paused. "Well, just one of them, actually... You'll be fine with it."
"I hope so. Because it still hurts a little, but right now it's not a bad kind of hurt."
"I promise. We're not talking that much more dick size, really." He let out his breath and pulled more blankets over me. "You've got to stop talking about that when you're too sick to try it out. The fantasies I've had about you the last couple of days..."
"I'm sure I would have thought the same if I'd been awake," I said. "I'll feel better soon." I paused. "Can I...see how much bigger it is?" I put my hand between his legs.
I felt a need to stake my claim on this man. To feel, in this most tangible way, that I had his heart too. I felt him getting harder even as I placed my hand there. His breath came faster as my fingers probed through the black cotton work pants he was wearing. I felt his cock flex against my hand