took a deep breath and let it out slowly, unable to finish the thought that had kept my mind occupied.
Jude stared at me, her confusion etched on her face. “I don’t understand. You think he is—”
I nodded. “It’s just a hunch, but—” I let out another breath. “Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but I believe he might be my brother. But that’s not even the worst.”
Squeezing her hand, I told her everything. About the rape, my father, my mom’s illness. The struggles and the mistrust.
Jude listened intently, her face pale, her eyes shimmering with tears. Every now and then a tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped at it silently, her eyes never leaving me.
“You don’t always have to assume the worst, you know,” she whispered as soon as I had finished. “Like you said, it’s just a hunch. You could be wrong.”
“You’re right. I thought that, too. The problem is—” I closed my eyes for a moment. “—Kade does kind of look like my mother, but more than that, he looks like a younger version of my grandfather. I didn’t see the resemblance at first, but the way he moved, the way he talked, the way he smiled—the resemblance is uncanny.” My voice began to shake. “If he’s my brother, I don’t know what to do. What do you think?”
Her grip on my hand tightened. “We need to find out and then we’ll take it from there.”
“I’m so scared,” I whispered. “I’m so scared that I might not be wrong.”
“Let’s worry about that later,” Jude said determined. “Have you told Chase?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“You should.”
“I can’t,” I whispered. “I told him not to contact me ever again. I can’t break my own rule.”
***
The letter arrived eight weeks later. It looked like any other letter. What caught my attention was the sender’s return address. That’s why I waited for Jude to get back from work before opening it.
“It came,” I shouted as soon as the door closed behind her.
“What came?” She dropped her handbag on the floor and turned to stare at me.
I held the letter in front of her. Her facial expression instantly changed from nonchalant to anxious. “Oh. What does it say?”
“I didn’t have the stomach to open it yet. I waited for you for like four hours.”
“Good,” she said and headed for the kitchen. “Let me grab a bottle. I have a feeling we’ll need lots of alcohol.”
“Thought of it already.” I pointed at the bottle of wine and the two glasses on the table.
We sat down at the kitchen table. For a while, we remained silent, until Jude pointed at the letter in my hands.
“If you don’t open it this instant, I swear to God I will.”
My gaze moved from the letter to her impatient face, my heart beating too fast. Groaning, she yanked the letter out of my hands and tore it open.
“What does it say?” I asked and inched forward to peer over her shoulder.
She shrugged, and disappointment flashed across her face. “They talk about confidentiality and blah, blah, blah. In short, they don’t want to tell you. You have to contact Chase, tell him about it.”
My stomach felt as though someone had just pulled a rug from beneath my feet.
“I can’t. I told him—”
“I know what you said, Laurie. You’ve only recalled that story about a million times.” Jude rolled her eyes the way she always did when she was about to lose her patience with me. “But if you don’t contact him, I don’t know who else could help. Let’s face it.” She tossed the letter onto the table and interlinked her fingers. “Chase is close to his brother. It would be easy for him to persuade Kade to get tested to find out if there’s any chance you guys are related. Don’t you think you deserve to know the truth?”
I nodded. “I do, but what if he doesn’t want to know? What if we’re wrong? That would be so awkward.”
“Is that better than living in the dark?”
“No,” I said. She was right, as usual. My hands grew clammy at the thought of calling Chase, maybe even seeing him again. “What do I even say?”
“Tell him the truth, Laurie.” Jude smiled softly. “The way I see it, you both have a lot in common. You both have lost a lot in your lives. Chase lost his mom to an illness, so did you. So did Kade. Talk to him. Explain it. See what happens. Maybe