the first lie I told you. I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me that I claimed we were married before he died. None of that is true.
He isn’t who you think he is. He’s not an honorable man nor is he someone with a good heart. They were lies I told you to protect you from the truth. Lies I told myself to help me move on. When he got me pregnant, our parents insisted that we marry. When the day came, he ran off and left me behind. As a child, you wouldn’t have understood, but now that you’re older, I hope you can feel the heartbreak he caused me. Lies are not honorable, but sometimes when the truth is too painful and we have no choice, we have to lie. I think I mostly lied to myself and I got to a point where I began to believe my own lies.
As far as I know, your father is still alive. I wish I could tell you that he loved you and wanted to see you, but the truth is he’s always been a coward who feared my father.
I tried to contact him on many occasions. I told him about you. I sent him photos. But he never replied. In my heart, I wanted to believe he loved me for a long time, that something or someone held him back, but the truth is, he wasn’t in love with me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought I was a rich, spoiled, and strange young woman. At some point, I even believed that my father paid him off to be my friend. That’s the downside of being rich—you never know if anyone ever likes you for who you are.
Choose your friends carefully. Most of them will run when the going gets rough. Most of them would rather take the money than stick around. I can’t blame your father, though. He was younger than I was when I found out that I was pregnant with you. He wasn’t ready to be a father. He wanted to be a physician, study, travel the world, and that’s exactly what he achieved.
If you decide to contact him, I have included everything about him below, though you should know that he is now married with children.
I married Clint because I wanted to be loved rather than hurt. Even though I’ve never been in love with him, I’ve always respected him for who he is. Before we married, he chased me for years and taught me that I could rely on him.
Now that you know my story, you will see that my life’s been a lie for a long time. I’ve been carrying too many secrets. The burden has become too heavy to bear.
If you’re angry with me, please know, I still love you.
I’ve decided that money should not define you. I don’t want you to be used. I don’t want people to hurt you or rob you blind just because you were born who you are. Your wealth won’t help you make many real friends and so I’ve decided to keep your rightful money away from you until you become the open-minded, independent individual with a fixed set of opinions I know you will be. Once that is achieved, my duty as your mother has been accomplished.
My twenty-third birthday was an important year for me. It was the year I conceived you. It was the year I grew. It was the year I met Clint and we became friends. It was the year I realized that I’m responsible for my own life, that no one can hold me down. It’s also the year my parents asked me for forgiveness after my uncle died.
While Clint is not the man I love, he is my safety net. He offered me a chance to get away from my family. He treated me well. He wanted to be your father. I don’t know many men who would have jumped in wholeheartedly at the idea of raising someone else’s child. Because my mind is deteriorating I have asked him to take over my business. I have asked him to take good care of you. And when I told him that I’d mention him in my Will, I made him promise that he would give you the estate once you were old enough.
Whether he will keep his promise is a different matter. I would like to believe it, but honestly, my life has taught me that