open. “Ha! I knew it. Hard to resist. Yeah…yeah…” he coaxed until she couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah…there’s that smile. Just what I had in mind.”
She rose up, propping her arms on his broad chest and resting her chin on her crossed wrists. “I know exactly what you had in mind, Oliver Graham,” she said as she slanted an amused look down at him.
Laughing softly, Dodger looped his arms across her back. “You are a tough case, Anna. Just like your brother.”
She relaxed her teasing expression and gave him a wistful gaze as she slowly stroked his bottom lip. “I can hardly lie about how I feel about you,” she murmured, already knowing before last night that she was falling for Dodger hard. There was no stopping it. As much as she liked thinking she was the master of her head and heart, she was going to be disappointed. But a deal was a deal, and she would honor his wishes. “Forget I said that,” she said quietly. “That wasn’t playing by the rules.”
He reached up and brushed back her tousled hair, his touch light and lingering. His eyes revealed a depth of disquiet that was almost haunting. She gently caressed his face, trying to smooth away the worry lines from around his eyes.
“I don’t expect anything back from you,” she whispered.
“I am a right bastard.” He closed his eyes and covered his face with his arm. After a moment, he removed it and met her gaze, his own bleak. “I can’t give you everything. I did that once before, and I lost myself.” His expression contorted for a moment, a grimace that gave credence to the pain in his eyes. “What I became shamed me. With you…” He slowly brushed his knuckles along her jaw. “I think it would kill me.”
“I want to understand.” Her gaze never wavered from his. Sensing the pain in him and being unable to soothe it was torture. “Do you think I’ll judge you?”
“I think you would find a different man from the one I am now.” He closed his eyes, shutting himself off. Anna was torn between shaking him and holding him.
She looked away, sighing during the awkward silence. When she looked back at him, the companionship they had shared seemed like a distant memory. For one heart-stopping instant they stared at each other, invisibly linked by an acute awareness, then Dodger’s expression altered dramatically. Looking suddenly very gaunt, he started to withdraw.
“Wait one damn minute,” she said.
He stopped moving and looked at her. “It’s all right, Anna.”
“No. It’s not. We’re in this together, aren’t we?” She put all the compassion she was feeling in her eyes, stroking his face.
“Bollocks to the wall,” he said with a wistful smile.
“Then you can tell me all about it. Now.”
“Anna…are you sure—”
“Yes, I’m sure. I need to know. I want to know. We’ve all had dark moments in our lives. Please, Oliver. Don’t shut me out.”
He rose up in bed and wrapped his arms around her. “It’s not my intent, Anna. I find it hard to talk about any of it.”
“You can trust me, babe. I swear.”
His arms tightened around her. Heaving a heavy sigh, he looked down at her then pressed his back against the headboard, drawing her with him. His voice was quiet, almost devoid of emotion when he started to speak. “I met Hermione when I was on leave from the SBS. We had an amazing month together, but she had taken a job in New York City and was going to be moving away. I was tired and disillusioned after seeing so much death and destruction. I put in my papers and left, followed her to the States, applied to become a citizen. Got a security consulting job. Everything seemed amazing and good.”
Anna smoothed her hand up his arm in a comforting caress. “What happened?”
“I came home early because I wanted to get ready for our date that night. I was going to ask her to marry me. I found her with some wanker in our bed.”
“Oh, Oliver. I’m so sorry.”
He gave her a bleak smile, then looked away. “I told her to get out, and she packed her bags and left.”
“And then?” she asked softly.
“I got quietly drunk for about a week, got fired from my job, started down a rocky road.” His voice was low and unsteady. “Ended up working for this guy who did exports and imports. I was his muscle. I had no idea what he traded in,