man is hard work but it is the most wonderful thing in the world. Being married to the wrong man is the worst mistake a woman can make. I know that to be true, not from personal experience but because I have seen it. I have practically lived it with some of my closest friends. I won’t get into any names or specifics, but just understand any number of men in the swanky suburbs turn gay when you least expect it, or become addicted to prescription drugs, or develop a sudden longing to travel the world with a backpack. Or, worse, sometimes they just become distant, because they are disappointed in themselves or envious of the husband across the street who just put a six-figure addition on his house, so they drift away emotionally, blaming the women closest to them for their own shortcomings, projecting onto their wives feelings of inadequacy that most times the women don’t even feel.
Men are complicated, Samantha, but they are also very simple. If yours was such an asshole that he was cheating on you within two days of your wedding and clumsy enough about it that you caught him, the best thing that ever happened to you is that you found out when you did. Because the alternative would be finding out after you had twins and a joint mortgage and reservations to go on safari in Africa. That would be much worse.
What I’m saying is I understand that you are struggling to grasp how lucky you are right now, but if you were able to read it instead of live it, you might decide that where you are is actually a fairly wonderful place. Even if you are wearing a hospital gown instead of a pretty dress.
* * *
Person2Person
From: Samantha R.
To: Brooke B.
BreastCancerForum.org
* * *
You know, I have had a lot of people say a lot of things designed to make me feel better these last few weeks: my father told me there isn’t a medical procedure known to man that will not be considered if I desire it, a nurse told me the nice thing about reconstructed breasts is I can choose the size and they will always be perky, and my best friend from college said, “Dude, you’ve always been hot and you always will be.” I appreciated all their support, but none of them made me feel lucky. You just did. Thank you.
* * *
Person2Person
From: Brooke B.
To: Samantha R.
BreastCancerForum.org
* * *
You’re welcome. Good night.
* * *
Person2Person
From: Samantha R.
To: Brooke B.
BreastCancerForum.org
* * *
Good morning!!!!
I hope you can sense the energy in my exclamation points. I slept more, and better, than I have since all this began. I awoke feeling strong and optimistic. I am going home either today or tomorrow. The end of this is in sight for me.
I also want to tell you I totally respect that you don’t want to share what is going on with you right now. I know how hard and how personal this is for me, and I understand that unlike me you have a husband to share your feelings with, to cry with, to laugh with, to hold you, to make you feel lucky.
You don’t need me. I understand that, and I won’t ask you again. But I do want you to know that I will help in any way I can if you ever do.
* * *
Person2Person
From: Brooke B.
To: Samantha R.
BreastCancerForum.org
* * *
Let me tell you about me. When I was first out of college, I worked in marketing for Donna Karan, and I enjoyed the work and the people and mostly the clothes, but to me it was not a career, it was nothing more than a job. I have never had any interest in a career; I never saw the point. What would I do? Sell something? Market something? To what end? Nothing I would be selling or marketing would be really important to me, certainly not in the way my family is.
So that is who I am. And I don’t mind at all telling you what is going on with me. What is going on is I am living my life, nothing more, nothing less. And by the way, you are right that I have a lot of people in my life to care for me and I have a wonderful husband to share my feelings with, and he often holds me, and he always makes me feel lucky, and in all the years we have been together I have