moping over Phillip. Maybe this night will be one I always remember, a night that changes my life. Those were the thoughts going through my mind, and really those are the worst possible thoughts to have, headed into a blind date. How much more pressure could you possibly place on someone you have never met than to expect him to change your entire life? Unrealistic, unproductive, unreasonable, and yet that’s where my head was all the while that José was blowing out my hair, and then while Anastasia was making me up, and then still as I selected from my wardrobe (Chanel lambskin blouse and fantasy fur pants, Christian Louboutin Madame Butterfly booties, Christian Dior Chantilly Lace coat). There was a tremble in my stomach when Maurice shut the door to the car, and as we began downtown, I poured myself a short glass of Chardonnay from a bottle I’d grabbed from the fridge upstairs. I caught a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror and raised the glass in a toast.
“Get a hold of yourself,” I said to my reflection. “He’s only a man and it’s only your birthday. There’ll be plenty more of both to come.”
I was finishing my second glass when we pulled up to the restaurant. My watch said it was four minutes past eight, which meant I had two minutes to kill. I have always believed in arriving six minutes early for a business meeting and six minutes late for a date. In both cases, I like the message it sends.
“You ready to go?” Maurice asked.
“Of course,” I said. “Why wouldn’t I be ready?”
“I dunno,” he said. “I just haven’t seen you like this in a while.”
“You mean this glamorous?” I asked grandly.
“I mean this nervous.”
I had hoped it wasn’t that obvious. “Don’t be ridiculous, I am not nervous.”
He didn’t say anything.
“Maurice,” I whined, “I’m serious. I am not.”
“Whatever you say, boss,” he said with a disapproving sniff. “You ready to get out?”
“Yes, I am,” I said, and downed the rest of the wine.
He came around quickly and opened my door. The air rushed in. It was a windy night, and I instinctively raised my hand to protect my hair. There was something exciting about the briskness of the air, the darkness of the evening falling across Manhattan.
“I’ll be here,” Maurice said as I stepped past.
I tapped him on the cheek. “Take the rest of the night off,” I said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“What are you talking about? How will you get home?”
“There are taxis, you know,” I said. “Perhaps you haven’t heard, Maurice, but not every person in New York has a driver.”
“Don’t do it, Katherine,” he said. “Don’t get cute on me.”
“What are you talking about?” I glanced at my watch. It was six minutes past eight o’clock, time to go in. “How am I getting cute?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” he said. “When I pick you up tomorrow morning you better not still be wearing this same outfit, if you know what I mean.”
I laughed. “Maurice, as of today I am officially an old lady. If I want to have tawdry, meaningless sex with a stranger, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” I winked and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Keep your fingers crossed. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Go get him,” Maurice said, and then he was back in the car, out of the wind.
I paused in front of the restaurant and took a deep, cleansing breath.
May I be filled with loving-kindness
May I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy
Then I pushed through the revolving door and before my eyes had even adjusted to the light I saw the blue suit making a beeline for me. My date smiled warmly as he approached, striding confidently through the crowd, extending his hand to shake mine.
“Oh my god,” I said softly. “You have got to be kidding me.”
BROOKE
“YOU HAVE GOT TO be kidding me!” I said, when Pamela said the telephone was for me.
I had left very specific instructions only to call in case of an emergency. Apparently, whatever I was about to be told rose to that level, at least in Pamela’s mind, and in that of Lourdes, my babysitter. I was so not ready to take that phone call. Not because I was afraid of what she might say. I was just so into what Pamela and I were doing.
All my life, I have associated sex with romance, with art,