I asked. To my surprise, my voice cracked a bit. It sounded as though I might cry, which seemed odd at first but then suddenly I realized tears were streaming down my cheeks.
“To be honest, he was very forthright,” my father said. “I give him credit for that. For a lying sack of shit, he’s a pretty straightforward guy.”
I laughed a little.
“He said he had something he needed to tell me,” my father continued, “and that he wanted me to hear it from him first. He said he’s been carrying on with a woman from the campaign, I think it was that brunette with the huge tits that lectured me about smoking.”
“It was,” I said.
“He said that he had taken up with her months before he even met you and that he was confused, and he didn’t know what to do, but that he loves you and wants to make the marriage work. And that he planned to tell you about it at the appropriate time, but somehow you obviously discovered something today that sped up that process. Am I reading that correctly?”
“Yes, you are,” I said.
“He asked me to be open-minded about the situation and to please help him try to find you, as you’d disappeared without a trace. That was pretty much all he had to say.”
I took a deep breath. The air still smelled fresh and salty.
“What did you say to him?” I asked.
“Darling,” he said, “when I was in college there was a huge fellow who lived in the same house as I did. His name was Alvin. He was a mountain of a man, must have been six foot eight, and very muscular. He was a cretin, and also a thief. One day I discovered that a few hundred dollars—which was all the money I had at the time—was missing from my room. I was sure Alvin had stolen it. So do you know what I did?”
“You left it alone and let him keep the money?”
“No.”
“You confronted him?”
“No,” my father said. “Not exactly.”
“Dad, what did you do?”
“I put a note in his room that said I knew he took the money and that if he simply returned it I would leave it alone and never speak of it again.”
“And?” I asked.
“And what?”
“And so what happened with the money?”
“To be honest, darling, I don’t really remember.”
“Dad,” I said, “you are developing an alarming habit of telling stories that don’t apply in any way to the circumstances.”
He chuckled gently again.
“Maybe you’re right,” he said. “Maybe I’m getting old. But now I’ll tell you what I said to Robert when he called me earlier today.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it, whatever it was. I closed my eyes.
“I told your husband that in my life I have been lucky in many things, but that the luckiest I have been is that I never ran up against you, Samantha, in a board room. You would have scared me to death, because you, darling, are the only person in my life tougher than I am.”
I couldn’t stop the tears now, and I didn’t bother to try.
“Why did you say that?” I asked.
“For the best reason anyone ever says anything,” my father said. “Because it’s the truth.”
“I want to get my marriage annulled, Dad,” I said. “Will you help me?”
“I think that is the best idea you’ve had in a very long time. Robert is an ambitious man, Samantha. I recognize that quality in him because I used to be an ambitious man myself. Maybe I still am one, to some degree. What he saw in you was the right wife for whatever it is he thinks he’s going to be someday, governor or president or wherever he hopes his ambition will lead him. You have the right background, the right family, the right looks. I don’t blame him for wanting to marry you.”
He paused for a moment.
“The problem, darling, is that Robert is an asshole. And that is an issue that was eventually going to be insurmountable. Your figuring it out quickly is probably the best thing that could have happened.”
I laughed a little. “Thanks, Dad,” I said. “I think I’m going to stay in Hawaii for a while.”
“Sounds nice,” he said. “It’s nighttime here, darling. First thing in the morning I’ll have lawyers on a plane, they’ll be there tomorrow to handle everything. They’ll make sure to get everything you left behind, and replace anything that may be missing.”
“I’m going to be fine, Dad,” I said. I meant