I wavered. Perhaps I could convince Dexx to get rid of Avanya and take in her son, instead. I was the healthy one. I could handle the city. Vihn couldn’t survive living here, and I wasn’t about to live in luxury while Vihn was hunting on the streets.
I sighed. “All right. But promise me something, Dexx.”
“Anything.”
“Promise me you won’t change when we go back. Promise me you’ll always be the man you are at this moment.”
“I promise,” he said readily.
And I think we both knew that wasn’t entirely true.
Chapter Nineteen
DEXX
She tried to be cheerful, but she couldn’t hide her unhappiness. I’d seen the moment she’d resigned herself to living at Eastmeadow. She had accepted it, but accepting something wasn’t the same as embracing it.
Her dislike of the city was understandable. It was not a kind place, especially not to those like her. It was noisy and crowded and filled with crime, diseases of the poor, and constant, frantic movement. There were many city dwellers who adored it. Perhaps that was more difficult to believe than Kreia preferring the life inside Corsov.
But she was my responsibility now, and I would not fail her. In her new home she would have servants, modern comforts, security…a bathroom that was larger than the rustic cabin she wanted to cling to. She would be happy there once she grew accustomed to it.
I understood why she wanted to stay in Corsov. I looked forward to my trips here and I was always reluctant to leave. But I was a man, not a soft, fragile little female, and I had grown up here. She couldn’t imagine it yet, but she would soon grow weary of such a rough life. Bathing in the river, ever mindful of the waiting dangers, having a diet that was less than healthy. Being surrounded by rough, dangerous outlaws.
No. She could not live here. For a while, yes. But not forever.
I had to put some space between the two of us because her body needed to recover from the night before, and I couldn’t resist her. She seemed to take great pleasure in teasing and tormenting me.
Bo caught me after I left two guards at the cabin door and strode through the camp. I needed to work off some energy. I needed to exhaust myself so I could leave Kreia alone, though I was nearly certain I could never be that tired.
She’d burrowed into my soul and had taken up residence, and she had a tight hold on the rest of me, as well. For the first time in my life, I had a true mate. I loved a female. It was exhilarating, and it was agonizing.
“Boss, listen,” Bo said, falling into step beside me. “I guess it’s about time we cleared the air.”
I fully intended to “clear the air” with Bo, but before I could lift my fist, a somewhat familiar voice called my name.
“How the fuck did she get in here?” Bo muttered.
I sighed as I watched Avanya ride into the camp, one of the guards I’d left back at Eastmeadow and four Corsovian outlaws at her back. I recognized one of the young xildes from my stables and glared at the guard with her until he nearly fell off his mount and rushed toward me.
“Sorry, boss,” he said, wringing his hands.
It was ridiculous how a pretty face could turn my big mean guards into handwringing idiots. “Why did you bring her here?” I asked, and despite the softness of my voice, he flinched.
“She said that you summoned her,” he said, looking as though he knew the truth even as he made his excuses. “She showed me the communication you had with her.” His smile was sheepish. “It was clearly an order from you to bring her at once.”
“Only it wasn’t,” Bo growled. “She lied to you.” Then he looked at me. “Can’t really blame him,” he muttered. “You do treat her like she’s a fuck of a lot more than a servant.”
He wasn’t lying, though I wouldn’t admit it. Avanya reminded me in some ways of my mother. Maybe it was her eyes, always sad but hopeful, kind and caring despite the shit she’d been through. It wasn’t her physical appearance. Being Hgrir, Avanya had scaly skin, wide blue eyes like jewels, and a round face. She was big, as were most Hgrir—except for her stunted son, Vihn.
With help from the males salivating at the sight of her, Avanya left her xilde and walked toward me, her face down, shoulders