a hoot of laughter I recognized as Bo’s—though it sounded strained and strangely hoarse—and I knew immediately that he’d gone ahead with my orders to toss the boy into the cold water for his bath.
Which meant that Krey was naked and shivering in the river. And he wasn’t far. He was in the same stream beside which I knelt, full of torment and indecision.
But when I pictured Krey naked, I didn’t see him as a boy. I saw a soft body, curves, breasts, and a pink, juicy cunt. I didn’t imagine him as a male. I imagined him as a female. So what the fuck was going on with my jeqwa?
I felt his pull. The desire to stride around the embankment and wade into the water was overwhelming. It was so strong that I almost couldn’t force myself to get to my feet and walk in the opposite direction.
I did though. I wasn’t a weak bastard.
My cock was weak. It hadn’t softened since Krey had fallen out of that tree and into my arms. It was a throbbing, rock-hard reminder that I wasn’t really in control of anything. And that just pissed me off.
I needed a woman. I needed a woman’s soft body to set me right. I had several of them back home in the city, women who would come whenever I needed them to. There were also a few women in Corsov who were warm and willing. Scary and mean as fuck, some of them, but willing.
I needed to get to Corsov.
Once we reached the deadlands, our electronics would cease to work. I doubted the guards had even bothered to bring theirs. I’d brought one, but I’d left it in my bag. I spoke to no one as I hurried through camp. I brought out my communicator, put in a call to the medical center, and scheduled transport for Vihn.
Then I turned to the guards. “New plan,” I told them. “We’re going on to Corsov today. One of you stay with Vihn. Medical transport is coming for him.”
Vihn sat up, dark bags under his eyes. “What about Krey?”
I ignored him. “Graez. Wait with Vihn. After they’ve come for him, take Krey back to the city. Turn him loose.”
“Yeah, boss.”
I couldn’t wait another second to get started. If I didn’t go now, I didn’t think I ever would. What I wanted to do was take us all back to the city, because that was where Krey would be. Which meant that I was more determined than ever to go wallow in the grim nature of Corsov until I had myself under control. I’d fuck a different woman every night, fight any man who looked at me wrong, maybe hunt a few of the feral pogs.
I’d been in the city for too long, lost in the business world, dealing with the stress of my corporation, and I’d allowed myself to change.
“What about Bo?” Graez asked.
“Tell him to catch up. I’m not waiting.”
I threw my belongings into my bag and then mounted my xilde, not even pausing to say goodbye or give any last-minute instructions.
The need to leave Krey and my insanity behind was as huge as my need to give in to the wild call inside me and take my mate.
I set my xilde into a gallop as my men scrambled to load their own bags and mount their xildes to follow me. I didn’t care if they never caught up. I needed to be alone with the darkness inside my head.
My xilde streaked through the cold day, carrying me farther and farther away, but the thought that I was making a mistake never left me.
Chapter Eleven
KREIA
When I shed my filthy, raggedy boy clothes and my binding and waded into the water, I kept my shirt wrapped around me until the very last second. I flung it at him and sank into the freezing water, losing my breath as the cold froze my blood and made my chest hurt. I walked until the water climbed my thighs, then stopped.
“Cap,” Bo ordered.
I dragged the itchy brown cap off my head and tossed it onto the bank, then turned my back to him as I unpinned my dark white hair. I scratched my scalp with both hands, forgetting Bo in my ecstasy. Damned itchy hat. Wearing it for so long had been about to drive me crazy.
With my hair wild and mussy from my eagerly scratching fingers, I opened my eyes and turned sharply at a strangled sound from the bank.
Bo stood