have sent you to the crazy house.”
“You can’t plan a night like this,” Mel says solemnly. “It just has to happen.”
We watch the crowd go by—families, couples, groups of friends, and some adorable grandparents who are even more excited about playing Skee-Ball and Bozo Buckets than their grandkids are.
The Fire Ball does one last gut-wrenching revolution and returns to the ground. Carson, Cody, and Nick are the first ones off the ride, shoving one another good-naturedly and laughing as they come down the ramp.
“That. Was. Amazing,” Nick says, leaning over to catch his breath. “Are you sure you guys don’t want to go? We all have enough ride tickets for one more.”
“Oh no,” I say, pulling my own tickets out of my pocket. “I’ve been saving these for the Ferris wheel, and I think it’s time to cash in.”
Cody groans. “I can’t even remember the last time I went on a Ferris wheel. Maybe when I was three.”
“Oh, come on.” Mel hops up and tosses her water bottle into a recycling bin. “It’ll be good for you. You’re probably getting brain damage from bouncing around on all those fast rides.”
Carson holds out his hand and tugs me up from the bench. I try to pull away as soon as I’m on my feet, but he tightens his grip and laces his fingers through mine, flashing a smile that sends unexpected butterflies swirling through my stomach. “Tell Mel I owe her one. I don’t think I could handle another ride that goes more than five miles an hour,” he whispers.
“Too much Fat Elvis?” After a second of hesitation I squeeze his hand and he squeezes back, our fingers engaged in a complex conversation that has nothing to do with what we’re actually talking about. I had forgotten this—the thrill of touching someone new, trying to decipher the meaning of each tiny movement. And with no alcohol involved, I’m even more hyperaware of how strange it feels to be with someone who isn’t Mark.
Carson groans. “Way too much.” His thumb traces slow circles in my palm.
The Ferris wheel is nearly deserted, the ride operator watching a video on his phone as we walk up. He waves our tickets away as he opens the gate and lets us board the first two cars. “Save ’em for something better, guys.”
Mel squishes between Cody and Nick while Carson and I sit in the car behind them.
“Behave yourselves back there,” Mel calls, turning and giving me a quick thumbs-up. The Ferris wheel lurches to life, and she squeals, their car swinging as Cody and Nick rock it from side to side.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, pulling away from Carson, my face burning. “She doesn’t have a filter.”
“Hey.” He drapes his arm loosely over my shoulders. “It’s cool. This is fun. Right?” He tilts my face toward him, fingers light on my chin.
“Right,” I whisper. We climb higher and higher, the swirling lights falling away. Carson’s hand is warm against my skin, and my shoulder fits perfectly in the space under his arm. C is going to be a good kiss. No gross, watery beer; no Seth watching me with judge-y eyes; no strings attached. Just a fun night, a nice guy, a Ferris wheel ride to the stars. All I have to do is close my eyes.
CHAPTER TEN
The next day, I take down all my pictures of Mark and put them away. I fish the Twenty-Six Kisses rules out from under my bed and tack them to the middle of my bulletin board. And I accept Killian’s Facebook friend request. It’s not much, I think as I shove the cardboard box full of two and a half years’ worth of memories with my ex-boyfriend onto the top shelf of my closet, but at least it’s something. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and can’t stop a smile from spreading over my face, wondering what Carson is thinking about right now on his drive back to Ann Arbor.
Jeffrey walks by my room and sticks his head in. “Why are you cleaning?” he asks, his face scrunched up in confusion.
I sigh. We’ve never been the kind of family that does the dishes immediately after dinner—much to my dad’s chagrin—but it’s sad that my twelve-year-old brother literally doesn’t understand the concept of cleaning or why it might be necessary.
“I’m turning over a new leaf,” I tell him.
“Okay, whatever.” He taps his fingers on the doorjamb. “Don’t forget Dad and Lila’s party is this weekend.”
“Ugh.” I had