of his psychic power.
He was sick to death of his psychic power. Didn’t anyone understand? It was a parlor trick, this taking off his gloves and touching things and seeing some simple, mundane image. “You got this pencil from a woman in your office yesterday. Her name’s Gert,” or “This locket. This morning, you took it out and you decided you’d wear it but you didn’t really want to. You wanted to wear the pearls, and you couldn’t find them.”
Just a physical thing, this, an antenna that maybe all human beings had thousands of years ago.
Didn’t anyone appreciate the real tragedy? That he could not remember what he saw when he was drowned. “Aunt Viv,” he would say, still trying now and then to explain it to her, “I really did see people up there. We were dead. All of us were dead. And I had a choice about coming back. And I was sent back for a purpose.”
Pale shadow of his dead mother, Aunt Vivian would only nod her head. “I know, darling. Maybe in time, you’ll remember.”
In time.
His friends had gotten more harsh at the end. “Michael, you’re talking crazy. This happens that people drown and they’re brought back. There’s no special purpose.”
“That’s nuthouse talk, Mike.”
Therese had cried and cried. “Look, there’s no use me being here, Michael. You’re not the same person.”
No. Not the same person. That person drowned. Over and over he tried to remember the rescue—the woman who had got him up out of the water and brought him around. If only he could talk to her again, if only Dr. Morris would find her … He just wanted to hear it from her own lips that he’d said nothing. He just wanted to take off his gloves and hold her hand in his when he asked her. Maybe through her he could remember …
Dr. Morris wanted him to come in for further evaluation.
“Leave me alone. Just find that woman. I know you can reach her. You told me she called you. She told you her name.”
He was through with hospitals, with brain scans and electroencephalograms, through with shots and pills.
The beer he understood. He knew how to pace it. And the beer sometimes brought him close to remembering …
… And it was a realm he’d seen out there. People—so many of them. Now and then it was there again, a great gossamer whole. He saw her … who was she? She said … And then it was gone. “I will, I’ll do it. If I die again trying, I’ll do it.”
Had he really said that to them? How could he have imagined such things, things so very far afield of his own world, which was full of the solid and the real, and why these odd flashes of being far away, back home, in the city of his boyhood?
He didn’t know. He didn’t know anything that mattered anymore.
He knew he was Michael Curry, that he was forty-eight years old, that he had a couple of million socked away, and property that amounted to almost that, which was a very good thing because his construction company was shut down, cold. He could no longer run it. He’d lost his best carpenters and painters to the other crews around town. He’d lost the big job that had meant so much, the restoration of the old bed-and-breakfast hotel on Union Street.
He knew that if he took off his gloves and started touching anything—the walls, the floor, the beer can, the copy of David Copperfield which lay open beside him—he’d start getting these flashes of meaningless information and he’d go crazy. That is, if he wasn’t already crazy.
He knew he had been happy before he drowned, not perfectly happy, but happy. His life had been good.
The morning of the big event, he had awakened late, needing a day off, and it was a good time for it. His men were doing just fine out there, and maybe he wouldn’t check on them. It was May 1 and the oddest memory came back to him—of a long drive out of New Orleans, and along the Gulf Coast to Florida when he was a boy. It must have been the Easter vacation, but he really didn’t know for sure, and all those who would have known—his mother, his father, his grandparents—were dead.
What he remembered was the clear green water on that white beach, and how warm it had been, and that the sand was like sugar under his feet.
They had