fingers pressing the center of my chest, stopping me from following them through the double doors. “Only medical staff is allowed beyond this point.”
I could see the top of Pearl’s head as they rushed her down the hallway, and I didn’t take my eyes off her, trying to move past the nurse to get in. “I need to be with her.”
“You will be once they’re done with the examination.”
“You don’t understand what she’s been through.” My jaw tightened, clenching. “She needs me.”
“Detective …” She shook the spot she was holding, trying to gain my attention. “Detective!” When I finally looked at her, she continued, “There are no exceptions. I’ll come and get you once they’re done.” She nodded toward the row of benches behind me. “Make yourself comfortable; it’s going to be a little bit.”
“Pearl,” I shouted before the doors closed, making sure she heard me, “I’m not leaving you. I’m right here!”
I continued following the darkness of her hair until they turned the corner, and she was gone. I then backed up several steps, the nurse’s hand dropping from me.
“Hey …”
I found her eyes again.
“We’re going to take good care of her. Don’t you worry.”
“How’s she doing?” the captain asked as I stood with her in the doorway of Pearl’s hospital room, my eyes fixed on the bed, watching Pearl sleep soundlessly.
I kept my voice low, looking for any signs of movement. I didn’t want her to open her eyes and not be sitting in the chair next to her. “The few times she’s been awake, she hasn’t said much. But she’s medicated and calm; I guess that’s all I can ask for at this point.”
The IV attached to her hand was giving her fluids that she desperately needed. The cocktail of other meds was helping her numbers rise. Her lack of weight, vitamins, and nutrition had wreaked havoc on her organs, causing them to work overtime. Her kidneys and heart needed improvement, and her blood cell counts were terribly low. Within time, she would make a complete turnaround—physically.
Mentally, there was so much to be determined.
“How are you?”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”
Her hand went to my arm, and my stare slowly left Pearl to glance at the captain as she said, “Your health most certainly matters right now. First you lost your friend Dylan and now this.”
I couldn’t talk about Dylan.
I couldn’t even put my brain there right now.
“I just want her to be all right—whatever that means and whatever that looks like. Once I have an idea, I’ll be doing much better.”
She took her hand back and crossed her arms. “I checked Daniels’s file.” She paused, her stance shifting. “Her case was before my time at the department, but I’ve heard of Detective O’Connell. He’s been retired for quite a while.”
“He was gone a week after I started working. He was a useless motherfucker. Lazy, uninterested. He didn’t care enough.”
“I saw your notes—every call that you made, every angle you pursued. Even up until a few weeks ago, you continued to search for her.” Her gaze moved between my right eye and left. “Is Pearl the reason you joined the force?”
I checked on Pearl again. She hadn’t even stirred.
“Mostly,” I sighed, leaning into the doorframe. “I was in med school, miserable, missing home, missing her.” I hated putting my brain back there, the pain so immense that it hurt to even think about. “I knew I could do a better job than O’Connell. I just needed the resources. The department opened up those gates.”
There wasn’t a smile, but a look of understanding was on her face. “And we’re lucky sons of bitches to have you. Take all the time off you need, Flynn. You’ve certainly earned it with everything you’ve been through.” She nodded toward Pearl. “You also have a lot of work ahead of you.” I was stepping back inside Pearl’s room when the captain added, “I hope once things relax a bit, we’re not going to lose you?”
I hadn’t thought about my future. I hadn’t even considered what things would be like in an hour. Pearl was minute by minute at this moment. But I was certain of one thing. “I don’t want that missing persons wall to gain any more photos.”
She reached over, patting my shoulder. “That was the answer I wanted to hear.”
Sixty-Four
After
Pearl
Brightness.
Something I hadn’t seen in eleven years—a mind-blowing and terrifying number—that would take me a long time to get used to again.
The only colors in Ronald’s prison had been the white dress he