Like my limbs have all gone numb. I feel my head lift to stare at Anderson, but I’m barely conscious of the movement.
“You… they… what?”
Anderson nods. “I’m afraid they’re gone, Trinity. None of us knew this would happen, but their redemption was also their end.”
No.
No.
Chapter Fifteen
Trinity
My body is frozen, held rigid and motionless. I’m still gaping at Anderson, my jaw dangling as if I’ve forgotten it’s attached to me.
I don’t understand. How can he say all of this so blithely? How can he not care?
“But you told me to redeem them so that they could be on the side of—on our side!”
“Well, yes,” Anderson says, dipping his head. “And if they had survived their redemption, they would be on our side now. None of us knew this would happen, although we had considered the possibility.”
“Considered the possibility?” My voice is loud and harsh. My hands are shaking. “And you didn’t tell me? You didn’t think to mention that little detail? That by redeeming them, I might kill them?”
My voice breaks on the word “kill,” and the pit in my stomach seems to deepen and expand somehow.
Anderson narrows his eyes, looking a little annoyed. “No, we didn’t think it was worth telling you. It wasn’t exactly relevant to your mission, and as you are well aware, you’ve had issues with following rules and directives in the past. That was why you fell, after all—breaking regulations because of your softness. So long as the sins existed as sins, they were tempting people to do evil things and winning souls for Hell. Now that they are gone, that massive source of temptation for mortals is gone, and we will start winning more souls to our side.”
He waggles his head back and forth. “I’ll grant you, it would’ve been even better if they had remained alive and been able to actively recruit for Heaven, but this is still a big win for us, Trinity.”
My heart feels like it’s cracking open.
No. Fuck, no.
I led them to their doom. I as good as killed them. They never would’ve done any of this stuff if it wasn’t for me, and now…
Now…
“We’ve decided to not only let you back into Heaven but to give you a promotion for going the extra mile,” Anderson continues, the lines on his face smoothing out as he smiles again. “You’ll receive your next assignment from the committee shortly. For now, you’d better rest up. That was quite the battle you were in.”
I can hardly hear his words. It sounds like he’s speaking to me through a thick fog.
The sins are dead.
They’re gone.
And I never even got to tell them how much they meant to me.
I never got to tell them that I love them.
“You’re going to be given more responsibility, and I know that it can be a lot to handle at first,” Anderson says. “But I’m sure you’ll be up for it. We’re quite pleased with you, Trinity. I hope you’ll continue to impress us.”
He starts to leave the same way he came in, apparently oblivious to my heartbreak. Or maybe he just doesn’t care. I don’t know. I feel like I’m not even able to feel anything properly. Like I’ve been stabbed, but I’m just staring at myself bleeding out and not really feeling it.
Is this what shock feels like? This must be what shock feels like.
Anderson’s wings rustle softly as he pushes the door open, and as they do, I catch a glimpse of something.
What is that?
It’s like a mark was burned into one of his wings, so that you can only see it in a certain light. I shift a little, trying to get a better look at it, but it vanishes from sight again as he takes another step. The door shuts silently behind him as he leaves, and I blink, staring after him.
That mark. I’ve seen it before…
Oh, fuck.
It hits me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t get a great look at it, but that mark on Anderson’s wing looked a heck of a lot like the one Salinas put on me so that supernaturals could track me and find me.
But why does Anderson have it on his wing?
Angel wings often shift in color, almost pearlescent in their appearance. Anderson must’ve thought no one would notice the mark, since it’s hidden right near the spot where his wing meets his back. And the light did have to hit it in a certain way for me to realize it was there. I’ve never noticed it before