she hates me.”
“All of it?”
“Well, she guessed a lot of it herself, but yeah.”
“Oh, Ridley.”
“I just couldn’t do it anymore,” I say, dragging a hand through my still-wet hair. “I care about her too much to lie.”
“Do you love her?” Gray asks, and there’s no judgment there, just a question.
“I don’t know.”
“That’s a hell of a reveal for ‘I don’t know.’”
“Yeah. So how do I fix it?”
Gray’s quiet again, and for the first time, I wonder if maybe she doesn’t have the answer, but that’s impossible. Gray has had the solution to everything since I was born.
“Grand sweeping gesture?” she says finally. “It works in the movies.”
“Are you being serious?”
“No. Don’t actually do that. Just try to talk to her, if she’ll let you. And try to rebuild her trust. And stop spying on her store.”
“About that. I’m actually not. It turns out I suck at screwing people over. No wonder I’m the black sheep of the family.”
“Wow, thanks.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I say, even though I kind of did. “But yeah, I’ve been sending fake reports too. I’d never tell Dad, but I did find out one thing that—”
“Don’t tell me about it either.”
I stare down at my feet, the reality of the situation washing over me again, making everything seem impossible. I swallow hard. “What do I do if she won’t talk to me?”
“Then you back off and give her space,” she says softly. “Either she comes around on her own, or you chalk it up to a lesson learned.”
“That’s it? You’re telling me to give up?”
“It’s not giving up; it’s respecting what she wants, which you should have done in the first place by being honest with her. I want this to work out for you so bad, but what you did was beyond reprehensible, even if I get the reasons why you did it. Just be prepared, okay? Sometimes you can’t fix things once they’re broken. If she doesn’t want to talk, then you need to back off.”
“Yeah.” I swallow hard and don’t mention the fact that Peak’s already been ignoring my texts.
Gray sighs again, and I swear I feel that shit in my soul. “Maybe tearing it all down wasn’t the worst thing. Nothing good would ever come from the lies. So either you sped up the inevitable, or you have the chance to build something that’s actually solid.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I say, even though I don’t really believe it.
“I’m glad you called, Rid. Let’s do something this weekend. Pick a cool spot to eat. We’ll see a movie and go out to dinner after.”
“Sure,” I say, pretending not to notice that she’s giving me something concrete to look forward to, a goal to reach. She read a bunch of self-help-type books a few years back—once she figured out what a mess I was—and decided I would benefit from concrete goals and plans. She’s been not so subtle about doing it ever since.
“All right, let me know how it goes. I expect a text every day with an update.”
“Yes, Grayson,” I say, rolling my eyes at her and her goals.
It does weirdly help, though.
I set the phone down and then think better of it, scrolling to the last song Peak sent me. I put it on a loop and stay awake as long as I can, listening. And when I do fall asleep, I dream about butterflies.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Jubilee
“YOU HAVE TO tell your parents,” Jayla says. Nikki sits beside her, nodding in agreement.
I’m on my side on my bed, hugging my pillow and watching them paint their nails, while Captain Marvel saves the world on my TV. Nikki is going with pink; Jayla has gone for a brilliant yellow. I shut my eyes and try to forget about the fact that I basically broke up with both of my boyfriends this week, simultaneously. Not that I even realized I thought of them that way until after it was over,