other ones out there. And it’s not like you won’t get into college without it. You have a whole other year left too.”
“But this is my only chance to study with Aleksander Ilyashev before my college audition. I need this. I didn’t even schedule auditions for any other summer programs.”
She shrugs. “Maybe you should have.”
“What the hell, Nikki?” Jayla says. She twists around so fast, I swear to god if these stools weren’t bolted to the floor, she would have spun hers right over.
“What?” Nikki asks. “I think she’ll get in! I’m not saying she won’t. But she’s putting too much pressure on herself. There are way more important things in life. Things can happen outside of her control, and she—”
“She’s right here,” I say, hating the way they’re talking over me. It reminds me too much of Vera and my mom. Like they know better than I do where I should be and what I should be doing. They don’t understand; I wouldn’t be putting this much pressure on myself if I didn’t have to, if I didn’t need that scholarship.
“Sorry,” Nikki says, wiping her fingers. “I just want you to relax a little. Wasn’t that Mrs. G’s whole point? And you don’t have to do the summer program with Aleksander what’s-his-name to get into that school, do you?”
“Ilyashev. And no, but it would really help. Can you imagine his feedback? The edge it would give me when I audition with him for their college program next winter?”
“I know. Winning the Empire Classic would really help me too, give me a leg up going into my final year. Do you know how many college scouts are at that tournament?”
“I can guess,” I say, hating that she knows more about my thing than I know about hers.
“I’m just saying, don’t let one moment define you. Because there are going to be a lot of moments still to come, no matter which way things shake out.”
Nobody says anything after that; we just eat our wings and listen to the sound of balls crashing into pins and people cheering or swearing. When the conversation does pick back up, we switch gears to safer topics—complaining about school, talking about how great Emily is, and joking about how Nikki and Ty are finally together but still aren’t being super public about it.
But Nikki’s words keep buzzing in my head, and I wonder if she’s right. It doesn’t feel like she is, though. For the first time, it feels like maybe she just doesn’t get it. Like, at all. And it’s weird to feel like that about Nikki, and maybe a little about Jayla too.
CHAPTER TWENTY
PEAK: I feel like an absolute alien around my friends lately.
BATS: Really? What happened?
PEAK: So I don’t want to jinx it but . . . I’m trying to get into a really intense summer program that would let me study cello with my literal idol. And tonight Nikki said it “won’t be the end of the world” if I don’t get in.
BATS: And?
PEAK: I think I would die if that happened.
BATS: Do you mean that? Peak, that’s not okay.
PEAK: Not literally or anything.
BATS: Oh. Well, good.
PEAK: But I’ve been working toward this for so long, and now the audition is almost here and one of my best friends in the whole world is just like “oh, it’s not a big deal.” It is, though. IT IS A VERY BIG DEAL.
BATS: Yeah, that would suck to hear. Like they’re minimizing your dream or whatever.
PEAK: Exactly! I can’t believe she said that.
BATS: I think some people don’t understand what it’s like to be so singularly driven. They’re wired differently. You can’t really get mad at that.
PEAK: Can’t I get a little mad at that?
BATS: Okay, a little.
PEAK: There is so much riding on this audition. Like I can’t just get in. I have to get that scholarship, you know? And I can’t have Nikki acting like it doesn’t matter. I