I’ve come to know over the last year or so: Kimberly Belle, David Bell, Emily Carpenter (who has the most amazing house I’ve ever seen), Wendy Walker, Zoje Stage, Kimmery Martin, Jeremy Finley, J. T. Ellison, Liz Fenton, Lisa Steinke, Ami McConnell, R. J. Jacobs, and so many others I’ve crossed paths with—thank you for the continued inspiration, advice, and conversation. And to all of the amazing authors who took the time to read and blurb this book—you rock. A special thanks to my media coach, Mary O’Donohue: everyone should be so lucky to work with a coach like you.
A special thanks to Jessica Zweig for braving her insane Chicago schedule to come away with me to the mountains so I could write the last forty thousand words of the first draft of this book in a single day—all of which were promptly trashed and rewritten, but still … Little did you know you were creating something spectacular that will soon live in the world too. Working with you for so many years has expanded me in ways I can’t even articulate, but working next to you in the mountains was a revelation.
I must also extend a very special thank-you to JC Childree, childhood friend turned trusted cop, whom I bombarded with detective questions about this very “strange” case. You supplied hard facts for how Rebecca would be treated by her local precinct when dealing with a swapped child and zero evidence.
And a super special thank-you to the trusted beta readers who speed-read this and gave me incredible feedback: Andrea Nourse, Aimee Pinard, Missy Block, and my amazing Nashville writers group. Thank you to Joe Tower, for giving this the polish it needed and for your insightful, unparalleled eye.
I also want to extend a very special thank-you to the #bookstagram community on Instagram. This group of passionate readers has really made such a difference both personally and professionally, and every writer appreciates all that you do! Thank you to my publicity team, who works so hard to spread the word. Thank you to my trusted life coach, Elizabeth Pearson, who makes me believe I can do anything. Everyone should have a mentor in their life like you.
Lastly, I want to thank my family. My parents and brother for those last-minute pickups when I need them, a glass of wine, a good meal, and normal conversation. My husband, Alex, who is my truest supporter, my first reader, and my consummate rock. You are a creative genius and a wonderful man, and going through life with you makes everything possible. Let’s keep dreaming our big dreams.
During the writing of this book, I was preparing to launch Because You’re Mine. We’d just moved into a new house. I’d also made the monumental, life-altering decision to homeschool my child and take on twenty-two book proposal clients. To say I was “busy” was an understatement.
But now I realize there is no perfect “climate” to write books. There will always be interruptions, distractions, life changes, and things that pull you away (#election). But I’m glad I sat down and spent time in Rebecca Gray’s world. A protagonist with a disability isn’t something we see in “thrillers” often, and I think we should. It’s the biggest challenge I’ve ever had writing a book, and I hope you—my amazing, dedicated readers—enjoy.
On to the next …
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Does Rebecca’s lack of people she can truly trust impact her ability to trust herself to find Jackson?
2. In Until I Find You, a mother’s intuition is a central theme. Do you believe a mother’s intuition is stronger than “logic”? Do you think people give the idea too much merit?
3. Would you have believed Bec?
4. Put yourself in Crystal’s shoes. Would you make the same choices she does? Why or why not?
5. What does Bec’s diminishing eyesight symbolize in her life? Do you think that ultimately, she’s a stronger person having gone through so much loss? Why or why not?
6. Discuss Bec’s relationship with Jake. Do we give too much power to the idea of the path not taken? Have you ever had to choose whether to follow someone and not done so?
7. What does it say that such surreal things can happen behind pristine suburban doors? Is there a level of distrust we always have for our community, even if we are active within it?
8. Bec sets out to raise Jackson completely alone while going blind. Do you admire her independence or think she should have put more support systems in place?
9. Explore the nature of the two infants and how they relate to their mother figures. Jackson is an easy baby, and Bec is a mother who will never give up on her child. Oliver is a fussy baby, and Crystal is willing to let him slide out of her life. How do we make these connections as a society: between happy babies and “good mothers,” between challenging babies and women who aren’t up to the task? How can we look to reverse this? Do you think it’s accurate?
10. How would the book be different if Bec weren’t blind? Would the other characters believe her more readily? Would you?
11. What would you have done if you were Bec?
ALSO BY REA FREY
Because You’re Mine
Not Her Daughter
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
REA FREY is the author of three novels and four nonfiction books. She is also the founder and CEO of Writeway™, where aspiring writers become published authors. Learn more at reafrey.com or writewayco.com. She lives in Nashville with her husband and daughter, or sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Epigraph
1. Bec
2. Bec
3. Bec
4. Crystal
5. Crystal
6. Crystal
7. Bec
8. Bec
9. Bec
10. Bec
11. Crystal
12. Bec
13. Bec
14. Crystal
15. Bec
16. Bec
17. Bec
18. Bec
19. Bec
20. Crystal
21. Bec
22. Bec
23. Crystal
24. Bec
25. Bec
26. Crystal
27. Bec
28. Bec
29. Crystal
30. Bec
31. Crystal
32. Bec
33. Crystal
34. Bec
35. Bec
36. Crystal
37. Bec
38. Bec
39. Crystal
40. Bec
41. Crystal
42. Bec
43. Bec
44. Bec
45. Crystal
46. Bec
47. Bec
48. Crystal
49. Bec
50. Bec
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Discussion Questions
Also by Rea Frey
About the Author
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
First published in the United States by St. Martin’s Griffin, an imprint of St. Martin’s Publishing Group
UNTIL I FIND YOU. Copyright © 2020 by Rea Frey. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Publishing Group, 120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271.
Cover design by Rowen Davis
Cover photographs: mother © Dmitry Zimin/Alamy Stock Photo; toy © Catalin Petolea/Shutterstock.com
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-1-250-24158-0 (trade paperback)
ISBN 978-1-250-24159-7 (ebook)
eISBN 9781250241597
Our ebooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by email at MacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.com.
First Edition: 2020