of Poppy. I couldn’t part with it.
“I’ve got a few of your mother’s old dresses packed away. I might can alter them a little if you find one you want to wear.”
I hadn’t realized Nonna had kept anything of my mother’s. They weren’t very close. “How bad are they?”
Nonna smiled and shrugged. “Not bad. Fashion hasn’t changed too much in the last sixteen years. You were one when she wore two of them.”
That was probably my best option. I stood up and nodded. “Then let’s go do this.”
Not once in my life had I ever been inside my nonna’s closet. I’d slept in her room as a child when I was scared, but I never got in her closet. She opened it up and motioned for me to come to her. “There’s a couple in here that I think will fit just fine.”
I wasn’t so sure about this, but I was going to be open-minded. At least no one would have on the same circa-2001 dress. I walked over to her as she pushed her clothing aside and reached to the back of the closet near the wall.
The first dress she pulled out was a pink chiffon with a ballerina-type skirt. I was sure that was all the rage back in the day, but I wasn’t feeling it. I crumpled my nose and shook my head. Nonna chuckled. “I wasn’t a fan of it back then, either. But your mother had to have it.”
If this was my mother’s taste in high school, we weren’t going to have success.
Next Nonna pulled out a cream baby-doll-style dress that was strapless and had an overlay of lace. It had a timeless look. Almost 1950s or earlier. I loved it. I reached for that one and held it up to me in front of the mirror. It fell a few inches above my knees. The only problem was I had no shoes for this.
“If you like that one, I have a pair of gold ballet flats your mother wore with it. She wore a seven then, like you.”
“You still have them?” I asked, amazed.
Nonna nodded. “Yes. I thought one day you might need to use her things, so I kept them. Looks like I was right.”
Again I wished that my nonna was my mother. She was a much better one than her daughter. I hadn’t been a regret for Nonna. She had wanted and accepted me from the beginning. My mother made sure to remind me over and over that I had ruined her teen years.
“Thanks.” I tried to mask the emotion in my voice. It was a simple thing, keeping clothes I might need to borrow one day. But she had done it for me. That made it special. I didn’t feel special often. Nonna had always been the one to give me that.
She smiled at me as she held out a shoe box. “Go on and get ready for your night. It’s time you enjoyed yourself a little. Living in regret and guilt ain’t healthy.”
Nonna hadn’t asked me the details of that night. She knew what my mother had told her, but not once had she asked me. I wanted to tell her my truth. My side of the story. It wasn’t much better than what my mother had told, but it was the real story.
“I didn’t know Quinn was there. Poppy’s little sister,” I started, and waited to see if she’d tell me to be quiet like my mother and stepfather had when I’d tried to explain. When she remained silent, I continued. “When I got there, I thought it was just us. We had friends coming over, and we were planning the party. We had been all week. Poppy’s parents had left Quinn upstairs in bed asleep and told Poppy to watch her. Poppy didn’t tell me. She didn’t tell anyone Quinn was there. I think she thought everyone would leave if there was a kid there. I’m still not sure why . . . . I know she never imagined Quinn would get out of bed and go outside. Quinn was such a deep sleeper.”
I paused and waited, but Nonna didn’t say anything. “I shouldn’t have been smoking and drinking. I knew that, but I’d grown to enjoy the escape. All my worries and issues at home went away, and I enjoyed myself. But if I’d known Quinn was there, I’d have never done it. We always took care of Quinn when she was home. Never did any of