him just as much. They had both lived through pain I’d never known. It bonded them. I loved them both, and I was thankful they had each other.
I didn’t have that kind of loss in my life. The darkness haunting Willa’s eyes I didn’t recognize. Could I ever be the shoulder she needed to lean on? If I didn’t have my own demons to conquer how could I help her?
Ivy was easy. We understood each other. We were alike in many ways. A relationship with her was comfortable. She was sweet and dependable, if not also annoying at times. If I even mentioned I wanted something for lunch, the next day she’d bring it. When I complained about my locker being a mess and not being able to find anything, she organized it for me after school as a surprise. She cared about me. A lot. I didn’t have to work to make her happy. Even if I knew I didn’t love her.
Was that what I wanted? Easy? Or did I want more?
Still One Big Happy Family
CHAPTER 7
GUNNER
Family dinner was a fucking joke. If Mom wanted me there, then she was going to be disappointed. Grandmother Lawton could equally kiss my ass. I didn’t give a shit if a woman who I shared no blood with was in town. It was Rhett she always cared about seeing anyway, and he only came home from college during the Christmas holidays. Dinner with people who didn’t care if I was breathing wasn’t on my to-do list. I had other plans. Something I’d been planning all day. I was going to see Willa.
Ms. Ames would be serving the family dinner, and I’d have Willa alone. All that closed-off shit she was throwing today at school wasn’t going to fly with me. She was back. I was curious as hell. And she was smoking damn hot. That smart mouth asking me if my penis had accidentally fallen into Kimmie’s vagina had been hilarious and exactly the kind of comment I expected from the Willa I knew.
I knew a different Willa. One that Brady didn’t know. She had never really been herself around Brady. She had been giggling and blushed a lot when he was around. I was young, but I’d known even back then what that meant. Where she would tell me jokes and laugh until her side hurt and she snorted, she wasn’t so free around Brady. Because I was her friend. She wanted more from him.
And I was so damn jealous back then I’d not been able to see straight. Willa was mine. I didn’t want to share her with Brady, but I had because he was my best friend. When I realized she liked him differently than me, I remember my young heart breaking. I already didn’t have my parents’ love. They adored Rhett. Then Willa had chosen Brady. It was in her eyes. I knew the sting of rejection too well at that point. I swore if I lost her to Brady, I’d never love anyone else again. I would only love me. I trusted me. She’d left before that happened though. I never really lost her to Brady, but somehow I’d still built walls around me. Maybe it was because her leaving had hurt too bad and I never wanted to experience that again.
I didn’t use the front door. Not because I was afraid of being caught. I really didn’t give a shit if my mom caught me leaving. I just didn’t want anyone to know I was headed to Ms. Ames. I wanted to talk to Willa alone.
I escaped out of the door farthest from the pre-dinner drinks in the living room. Mom had called for me twice now, and I expected another summons soon. I’d be gone by then. When Ms. Ames came looking for me, she’d be upset with me, but I knew deep down she’d understand. I figured Ms. Ames was well aware that by blood I was no Lawton. She’d been here before I was born.
I climbed up in my truck and headed out to the main road in case anyone was watching me leave. I didn’t want them to figure out I had gone to find Willa. I had no doubt my mother would frown upon that one. She’d never approved of our friendship when I was younger. I heard at least three times a week that Willa was the help’s kid and not someone I should be spending so much time with.
Once