his side. Even then the images stayed with him. The awful way he hadn’t been able to help Annalee. The impossibility of reaching her and pulling her to the surface.
His heart raced. The dream was just like his life.
Annalee was going back to the hospital for another round of chemo. Two days from now. She was getting sicker and weaker and sinking to the bottom of the lake. God still wasn’t answering their prayers, and there was nothing Tommy could do about it.
Sleep wouldn’t come, so he did what he’d learned to do long ago in these situations. He closed his eyes and started with Matthew 11:28–30.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Over and over Tommy silently repeated the words. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened…
Peace began to ease the tension in his muscles. Annalee wasn’t getting better, no matter how much they prayed. But God was here, now. Tommy could feel His familiar presence. If You’re here, Lord, then help Annalee. Don’t let her drown. He exhaled. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest…
Eventually Tommy fell asleep.
When he woke it was nearly nine o’clock. Which meant his family would be downstairs having pancakes. A Saturday morning tradition in the Baxter family. Tommy dragged himself from bed and looked out the window. No snow or ice. Only blue skies as far as he could see.
He got dressed and joined his mother in the kitchen. She had just started with the scrambled eggs. “I’ll help.” He took the pancake mix and poured it in a bowl. “Where’s Dad?”
“He’ll be back soon. He got up early to help plant trees in Grandpa John’s backyard.”
“Sounds like Dad. He’s always helping someone.” Tommy grinned at his mother. “And you wonder where I get it?”
Malin and Johnny helped set the table and their dad arrived just as breakfast was served. Tommy waited till his siblings finished eating and went out back before telling his parents about the dream. “I get it. I mean… with all Annalee is going through.”
“Of course.” His dad put his fork down. “I’m sorry, Son. What a horrible night.”
“Yeah.” He took another bite of his eggs and stared out the window that overlooked their backyard. “It wasn’t even winter, but we were walking on ice… and the water was freezing cold. Which didn’t make sense. But it was as real as us sitting here.”
For a minute no one said anything. His dad broke the silence first. “How is she?”
“She has her scan Monday.” Tommy pushed his fork through his eggs. They didn’t look as good now. “A lot will depend on that. It’s complicated.”
“But… how is she?” His mom asked the question this time. “You’ve been gone so much with school and visiting Annalee… we haven’t really talked about how she’s handling all this.”
Tommy appreciated that his mom didn’t make a dig about the time he’d spent with the ride-along program. During breakfast she’d been more relaxed. As if something had happened since yesterday to soften her.
He pushed back his plate. “Honestly… she looks terrible.” It felt good to talk about this. “Her mom bought her a wig—which she’s wearing at home. But it doesn’t hide how thin she is… or how weak.”
Last night at her house Annalee had collapsed on the way back from the bathroom. Tommy had been there to help her, but even then she couldn’t seem to make her legs work. More side effects from the chemo, her mother told Tommy. “I don’t get what God is doing.” He pushed his plate back. “We keep praying, but nothing. Like… is He even listening? Does He care?”
No wonder he’d had the crazy nightmare.
His dad took the question first. “Disease… sickness. It’s part of a fallen world, Tommy.”
“Sure, I know.” His tone sounded sharper than he meant it. “I’ve heard that. But God’s supposed to love us, right? And Annalee hasn’t done anything to deserve this. She’s the most faithful girl I know.”
“He does love her, Tommy. He loves you both.” His mom’s voice was gentle. Kinder than it had been in a while. “Still… I’m sorry.” She hesitated. “Tommy… I have to tell you something.”
He wasn’t sure where this was going.
His