shiver beneath me that I feel all the way from my clit to my heart. I press one more kiss to his lips before I reluctantly slide off his lap. “I need to stay on top of my work this semester. I don’t want to get behind.”
It’s a good thing, I tell myself, that we’re not going further. As we walk back toward Wellwood Hall, I remind myself of all the reasons why I need to stop getting so deeply involved with these men.
But that doesn’t stop me from spending the rest of the day dreaming about myself, Asher, and a room lit by soft candlelight.
Chapter 5
Determined to prove to Alyssa, the guys—and most of all, to myself—that I can hack it here, I start my private lessons with Professor Tamlin early the next week.
And honestly?
I hate to admit it, but they’re really helpful.
Darn it. I wish I could hate Tamlin. I really do. It would be easier for me to just put her in that little box of ‘evil ex-girlfriend’. But she’s not a bad person at all. She’s patient with me, she seems to like me, she encourages me, she doesn’t lose her temper, and she’s clearly confident in her magical abilities.
God, I wish I could be her. I’m this awkward, grumpy nobody who thinks band t-shirts are the height of fashion and can barely braid her own hair.
And I can barely do magic.
“You rely too much on your emotions, Elliot,” Tamlin tells me during our third session, sitting me down after I fail to make a modification of my sonic boom work. “It’s how we all naturally do magic at first, since emotions are so powerful. But they’re hard to control. It’s very difficult to make yourself feel something, and the right thing, at the right moment, and then to be able to stop that emotion from going too far.”
“You’re giving me a real respect for actors,” I mutter.
“Why do you think so few magic users are actors? It’s difficult to open yourself up like that, go through raw and intense emotions—even if they are manufactured—and maintain control of your magic at the same time.”
That makes sense.
Tamlin smiles gently at me. “You need to use your mental strength rather than your emotions. You’re a very smart and stubborn woman, Elliot. I know you have the mental power to control your magic. It’s harder and yields fewer immediate results than with your emotions, but it’s worth it in the long term.”
I look down at my hands, like they’re the culprits behind this whole mess. “What if I never manage it?”
“You will,” she replies, laying her hand on my arm. “Trust me, Elliot, you will.”
Despite the progress I’ve made, I leave our training session feeling empty, confused, and alone. All around me, everyone seems to be mastering their magic.
So why can’t I?
It’s not Tamlin’s fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s not even my fault, exactly, in that I’m not slacking off. It’s just something that’s a part of me, like my eyes or my hair, and I can’t control it—and God, I wish I could. I hope one day I can.
When I step out of Wellwood Hall, I see that everyone’s making their way toward the auditorium. Huh. Is something wrong? A mass of students pour out of the building behind me, and my instincts have me backing toward the wall so nobody can sneak up on me from behind, still on high alert after Raul.
The crowd parts as Dmitri steps through—people tend to hustle to move out of his way, probably due to the resting bastard face he’s got going on. Dmitri’s handsome as hell, with his brown-black hair cut shorter on the sides and a little longer on top, his sharp jawline, broad shoulders, and piercing, dark eyes. But he also looks like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed for a month.
Cam and Asher are right behind him, their gazes scanning the crowd. Dmitri sees me and moves so that the crowd parts around me and Cam can grab my arm.
“C’mon, Sin! We’re gonna be late.”
I frown up at him as we hustle along. “For what?”
“Dean Hardwick called some kind of assembly. Said he had good, important news for us.”
The rapid patter of my heart slows a little. Good news. Okay, that’s—I can work with good news.
We reach the assembly hall and sit down in our usual arrangement. I want to thank Dmitri for getting everyone out of the way, but before I