grab a pen and my notebook and start scribbling down notes. Here I am, getting all starry-eyed over Roman the exact way I promised myself I wouldn’t. What the hell, Elliot? Get your head in the game!
I need to focus up and buckle down. The course load here is difficult—lots of research papers and studying for classes like Magical Theory and History of Magic, and exhausting hands-on work in classes like Physical Training, Practical Magic, and Combat. I need to keep my head down and give it everything I’ve got if I want to learn how to control my magic and pass with good grades. Then I can graduate and go back to my normal life with Maddy, and I won’t have my magic stolen from me.
Yup. Stolen.
That was the choice I was given by the Circuit representative before I came here, and I’m still a little bitter about it. But Unpredictable magic is apparently so worrisome that if you don’t agree to go to a specialized school for it, the Circuit—the local law enforcement for magic users—will take your magic away for good.
Awesome, right?
I almost decided to let them take it from me. My magic sparked so late in life that I’d gotten used to living without it and existing somewhat separate from the magical community, so a part of me had thought maybe it was best to continue that way. But Maddy’s magic sparked right before mine did, and being cut off from the community meant I might get cut off from her.
I couldn’t let that happen.
So, here I am.
My gaze flicks up to Roman again as he continues lecturing. As much as I try not to, I can’t help but remember how it felt to have him on top of me. Inside me. His scent surrounding me, the dominating presence of his body making me feel small and sexy as his gaze raked over me…
Goddamn it, Elliot! What did I just fucking say?
Mentally chastising myself, I clench my pencil a little harder and focus on copying down what he’s written on the board. Sheesh. I do not have time to be daydreaming about my professor.
I’m not trying to pin you down, he said.
The possibilities of that…
Cam and Asher already made it clear they’re happy to share me if that’s what I want. Dmitri—God only knows what goes on in his head, although I suspect he cares more about me than he wants to admit, given how protective of me he is when danger so much as thinks about knocking. If Roman truly is okay with sharing me…
It could be incredible.
But can I afford to let my feelings for Roman, for all the guys, deepen? Can I really open myself up to that? Nearly everyone I’ve ever cared about in my life has left. Dad abandoned us, and God only knows what he’s up to now. Mom died. Friends fell away after Mom passed and I had to take care of my sister, none of them wanting to commit too much of their time and energy to helping us. Maddy’s been the only constant in my life.
Can I really trust any of these guys to stick around, and to mean it?
Roman gives me a slightly worried look as class ends, and I know he’s noticed that I’m sort of withdrawn, stuck in my thoughts. I want to tell him I’m fine, but that would be a lie, and he’s always been able to see right through me no matter how hard I try to run from him.
It’s annoying and touching, how perceptive he can be.
My next class is Combat, with Professor Tamlin.
Roman’s ex-girlfriend.
Professor Tamlin is a great person, honestly. I really like her. She’s also sophisticated, put together, effortlessly beautiful, and literally everything I’m not. I still don’t understand why Roman isn’t dating her—how he could’ve broken up with her. His answer the other night about why things ended between them was vague, and the tone of his voice when he talked about her made it clear he still cares for her.
I try not to let that knowledge sit like a rock in my stomach as I change into workout clothes before slipping into the large classroom on the fourth floor. The desks are all arranged around the perimeter of the massive room to give us space to work in the middle.
“All right, everyone,” Tamlin says, clapping her hands once. “This semester, we’ll be working on incorporating more magic into your fighting. The second- and third-years can begin