bed was Derek’s arm, wrapped tightly around my waist. I could remember the last time I’d woken up being spooned. It felt good… Really good. I smiled, and I rolled onto my back to say good morning, but he was still asleep. A shock of hair fell over his forehead and relaxed on the good doctor was as sexy as the excited or the passionate or the half-lidded, lips parted look he wore when my mouth was wrapped around his cock.
The night before had been better than I could have imagined. Good sex with a good man. Everything I hoped for.
But what now?
My private smile faded as the morning-after reality settled over me. I couldn’t go back to where I was, or who I was. I didn’t have a normal life anymore to go back to. Pre-Derek, I was scraping by. Barely. No prospects to make it better either. Derek wouldn’t want anything to do with that version of me. Because that version didn’t fit into this world. I’d only been here for a couple of weeks, but I liked it and how I felt when I was in it. I didn’t want to leave, but the more I thought about it, no way could I stay. I had nothing to offer.
“Good morning.” Derek sounded croaky but happy until he saw my expression. “Or…is it a not-so-good morning?”
“No, it’s good.” I kissed him and pulled my face into a bright smile. “It’s so good.”
He rolled onto his back and stretched as he yawned, and I stared at his gorgeous body, his thick hairy chest with his pecs popping, and biceps like a pro wrestler. Dishy.
“How do you do that?” I sighed and ran my hand over his chest, admiring his body.
“What? Yawn so loudly?” He smirked down at me, and I slapped his chest playfully.
“Ha! No, your arms…you look like you’ve just been to the gym. It’s unfair.”
“If I recall, you gave me quite a workout.” He flexed, and I slapped his arms. He wrapped them around me and pulled me in for another sweet kiss. “Last night was good.”
“The best?” I cocked an eyebrow, only half-teasing. I wanted to be everything to him. And I wanted to go away. I wanted to save us both the heartache of whatever happened when he realized I wasn’t good enough to be here, but I couldn’t walk out.
“Hey, I don’t dish out superlatives…” He caught my exaggerated pout and kindly made an exception to his rule. “It was squarely in the top ten.”
“Top ten!” I was shocked by how genuinely offended I was. “How many am I competing with here?”
He laughed and shook his head, then smoothed my hair back from my face. “I’ve got a lot of years on you, and if I tell you my number, it is going to sound high to you because you’re young.”
I grumbled and pulled his hands away. “I thought we were done with treating me like a kid.”
“All right then. Let’s talk about your sordid, adult history then.” He poked me in the shoulder then touched my arm gently. I liked how he looked at me. I liked having his attention. “When did you start?”
“Ah, my first?” I smiled at the happy memory and shook my head. “The story is way too ridiculous, given the circumstances.” I’d happily take it to my grave, no need for anyone to know it, but I wanted to share with him, wanted him to know.
He tilted his head and lowered his voice. “I’m intrigued. Now you have to tell me.”
“You first.”
“Absolutely not. Beauty before age.”
I scoffed at his stupid compliment, but my cheeks heated all the same. “If you must know, it was with an older guy.”
“It wasn’t…” His eyes went wide, and his head cocked to the side as his mouth dropped open. He pointed a finger at his chest, and I laughed.
“Relax. You weren’t my first time. Obviously. They don’t teach those moves in porn, baby.” I waggled my eyebrows and enjoyed a little rush of pride as I remembered how worked up I’d gotten him the night before.
He barely covered his snicker, and I jabbed his thigh with my knee under the blanket until he grew serious and rolled over onto his side, propped his head with his hand, and looked at me with kind eyes. “Was it a good experience? Your first time?”
“Not as good as last night, if that’s what you’re asking.” Not even in my top ten.
“It wasn’t, but thank you, that's