he is angered or wounded.
Jesus, he sounded like an awful lot of hard work. Couldn’t I just skip him and move on to someone who was a bit less of a pain in the arse?
Then I reminded myself that I’d set myself a challenge, and it would be pathetic to give up. I read on.
The upside? Ruled by Mars and Pluto, Scorpio is the most primally passionate sign in the zodiac. Your Scorpio man brings all his emotional intensity into the bedroom – or the kitchen table, the shower, the bondage dungeon; when it comes to matters of intimacy, it’s no holds barred for your sexy Scorpio. As a lover, he is inventive, skilful, enthusiastic and often surprisingly tender. It’s in relationships where he is physically satisfied that Scorpio will reveal the loyal, compassionate and devoted side of his personality.
Oh, right then, I thought. Why didn’t you mention that in the first place? If there was one thing that was lacking in my life, it was a good bit of inventive, passionate sex.
‘Come on then, Scorpio,’ I said, tweaking my profile. By the time I’d finished, my eyes were drooping with tiredness and my phone was slipping out of my hand, but I forced myself to get up, scoop out Frazzle’s litter tray, wash my face and brush my teeth before falling back into bed.
Just as I was sinking blissfully into sleep, my phone flashed with a message from the dating app. Half awake, I fumbled it to life in the dark.
Oh God. A dick pic.
But this time, I smiled and looked at it properly. And, for the very first time, I didn’t ignore, block or delete.
‘Holy shit, Zoë, what have you been doing with yourself?’ Robbie demanded when I stumbled into the kitchen the next morning, my eyes half closed still. ‘You look like you’ve been on a massive bender. You look like me after a heavy night. Actually, you don’t – you look worse.’
‘Cheers for that,’ I said. ‘I can always count on you for an ego boost. I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep.’
Robbie looked at me appraisingly. ‘Well, you’re going to have to tell me all about it. But first, you’re going to have to go back upstairs and put your T-shirt on the right side out. And I’ll get some coffee on.’
I left the kitchen and walked back upstairs to the flat. Actually, it didn’t feel like walking – more like floating. As if my feet were somehow on a cushion of air, like when you’re wearing expensive brand-new trainers. For the first time in my life, I got what the phrase ‘on cloud nine’ meant – although it was entirely possible that I’d skipped that and gone directly to cloud ten.
As I walked, I checked my phone, but there were no new messages from Seth, not since we’d signed off three hours before.
‘Now,’ my sous-chef thrust a triple espresso into my hand, ‘what’s all this about? Share it with the group.’
‘Nothing,’ I muttered, trying to keep the silly grin off my face and prevent a massive blush making its way up my neck. ‘I was just chatting to someone online, and I lost track of time.’
‘Chatting, you say? And what form exactly did this chat of yours take?’
‘It got… kind of flirty.’
‘Flirty, or filthy?’
‘Oh God. Both, I guess.’
‘Good girl! Up all night sexting a stranger, that’s what I like to see! Who is he?’
‘He’s a Scorpio,’ I said. ‘The app reckons they’re all passionate and stuff, so when he sent me a dick pic I didn’t delete it. I decided to kind of go with it.’
Robbie gave me that hard stare again, which reminded me of the way Frazzle looked when he wanted his breakfast. ‘I take it this was no ordinary dick pic, then? Or rather, a pic of no ordinary dick.’
‘I didn’t say that! It was just… You know.’
‘I certainly do not know. And I won’t, unless you give me details.’
‘Robbie. Let me remind you that this is a place of work and I am technically your boss.’
‘Okay, fine. Sheesh, you’re no fun.’
‘That’s enough of that. We’ve got the tofu to press for the vegan stir-fry, so let’s get cracking.’
We did, but as we worked I kept catching Robbie casting sidelong, speculative glances at me, and I knew he must be thinking, I never knew she had it in her.
And he wasn’t alone – I hadn’t known, either, until the messages I’d been exchanging with Seth had… well, escalated (and judging