that the kiss was just a spur-of-the-moment thing, and didn’t mean anything more than that.
But that morning, in that moment of hesitation, I could’ve sworn he’d felt something, too. It would have explained so many confusing parts of these past two months: the lingering looks I caught from him, the see-sawing closeness and distance, his lack of hookups… The way he didn’t call me his brother anymore.
“You’re supposed to be my best friend,” I said. “You really think that little of me? You really think I’d work with Crave?”
The fire in Tex’s eyes died down, just a little.
I swallowed. “I could deal with you not wanting to be with me like—like that—”
“I’m not gay—”
“But that’s not really why, is it?” I cut in. “It’s because you don’t trust me. You were just waiting for me to confirm what you really thought, right? That I’m still that dumb kid who can’t do anything right. Couldn’t get close because you’d already decided I’d fuck it up.”
“Jazz—”
“You’ve made it clear what you think of me. There’s nothing else you need to say.” I turned and headed downstairs, and Tex didn’t follow me.
My emotions warred inside me. Part of me desperately wanted him to follow me, grab me by the shoulder and tell me I was wrong about him, about us. Another part of me wanted to just get on my bike and ride. Leave all this shit behind. Tex, the club, all of it. Go somewhere that I wouldn’t disappoint anyone, where no one had the power to disappoint me. Start over.
But just because Tex had disappointed me—broken my heart again—didn’t mean I truly wanted to leave him behind, or abandon my duties as an enforcer. Especially now, with what I’d learned from talking to Crave.
So instead of running, I went directly to Blade’s office. He was behind the desk, with Priest and Gunnar in their chairs across from it, in the midst of a conversation. I closed the door behind me. All three of them stopped speaking and turned their gazes to me, their eyes wary.
“I’m here to talk about Crave,” I said.
Blade gave me a long, considering look, and then ducked his chin in a sharp nod. “Say your piece.”
At least Blade and the enforcers were willing to listen to me instead of jumping immediately to the worst conclusion—even if they still looked fairly doubtful.
“It was a coincidence,” I said.
Blade didn’t look convinced in the slightest, but he didn’t interject.
“I’d just needed to blow off some steam, and I’d gotten...drunker than I should have. Crave saw me outside, and approached me with a proposition. He’d assumed that I would’ve made some Viper alliances in the joint—that’s the only way he imagined I could’ve gotten out intact, I guess.”
“Did you?” Gunnar asked.
I bit back a sarcastic reply. “No,” I said plainly. “Had to learn to fight pretty well because of it, too.”
“Why didn’t you call for backup?” Blade asked.
I winced. “He had my phone. I was drunk, and angry, so I… Chucked it. Into an alley. And he found it before I did.”
Gunnar unsuccessfully tried not to roll his eyes. Priest was listening intently, no obvious reaction on his face.
“I was unarmed, and he had my phone, so I decided to hear him out to buy myself some time.” I pressed my lips together. Even just the memory of that snide asshole sent a jolt of anger through me. “He was trying to cut a deal with me. Wanted me to somehow get Rebel and Logan away from Elkin Lake, outside of the territory.” Crave had been close to ranting as he’d explained this plan, his beady eyes glinting with rage and excitement. “He blames them for the destruction of the Viper’s Nest, and for putting the Butler behind bars and drying up his revenue stream. So his first priority is killing them.”
“Killing?” Blade’s eyes narrowed; his shoulders stiffened. He was clearly moments away from getting up and finding Logan and not letting him out of his sight until this was all sorted out. “Both his sons?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Then after that, he told me he was coming for you, Blade.”
Gunnar scoffed.
“Doesn’t surprise me,” Priest said. “He’s wanted this territory for as long as we’ve had it.”
“He thinks if he takes you out, he’ll be able to take over the club,” I said.
Gunnar scoffed again. “Like a coup? Him and what army?”
“I know,” I said. “It doesn’t make sense—he’s obviously not thinking clearly. But he’s fixated on Rebel and Logan right now.