kind of cold, like the building itself was actively sucking out any heat.
Maybe this was where I belonged.
I’d gotten too comfortable. Life was too good in Hell’s Ankhor, despite my own problems. I had the job, the routine, the bedroom, the bike.
I had Tex.
I was too happy. So of course the universe had to step in and remind me it wasn’t so easy. I couldn’t just forget what I’d done and where I’d been. Where I belonged. Here. In the cold.
Siren scooted closer on the bench. “You all right?”
At least I wasn’t alone this time. If they had chucked me into a cell by myself, I’d be in a lot worse shape now. Siren was in here with me, and Gunnar was in a separate cell down the hall.
“Yeah,” I said through gritted teeth. “Fine. It’s fine.”
It wasn’t fine. The cold was seeping into my bones, pinning me to the bench, freezing my heart mid-beat. My breathing was shallow, a little fast, even to my own ears.
Siren gripped my shoulder and her nails dug into my skin. “Hey. Relax. We’re not gonna be here long.”
She didn’t know that, though. How could she? This is how it always started. What starts as a night in the tank turns into years in the joint. I knew it, like I could see into the future: they’d look at my rap sheet, see my record, slap me with aggravated assault, and the club wouldn’t want to pay my bail because it’ll be high, way high, and Siren will get out and I’ll be stuck here alone, alone, alone, until court, until Defendant Is Found Guilty, until the gates to San Quentin groan closed behind me.
I didn’t realize I’d tipped my head all the way between my knees until I felt Siren’s hand rub roughly across my shoulders. “Hey,” she said. “Deep breaths.”
I took a few rough, gasping breaths, and tried to bring myself back to reality. I didn’t sit up, though, not wanting Siren to see the sharp tears I knew were prickling at the corners of my eyes.
Then, from down the hallway, a familiar voice boomed angrily.
“This is bullshit,” Tex argued. “You’ve got eyewitnesses in the double digits. They shouldn’t be booked at all.”
“He’s right,” Blade agreed. “Are there charges or not?”
The police said something, and then there were footsteps, and a door slamming. Then the holding cell was quiet again. I sat back up and leaned against the cool concrete wall. Just the sound of Tex’s voice had soothed my anxiety a little. At least he was here—at least they were trying to get us out.
“Rebel’s probably with them, too,” Siren said. “We’ve got an in with the force now. We’ll be out of here in no time.”
I nodded. I didn’t know if I believed her, but at least we knew they were trying.
An hour passed, maybe two. It scared me how quickly I slipped back into my habits from San Quentin. How easy it was just to sink into my own head and let time just… pass. Because time didn’t matter. It was just cold, cold, cold.
Until the cell door swung open.
A tired and pissed-off looking police officer waved us out. “Come on,” he said. “You’re free to go.”
Free to go?
“About fuckin’ time,” Siren groused. She rose to her feet and dramatically stretched her arms overhead and cracked her neck. “Come on, Jazz, we’re out of here.”
Just like that. Free to walk out. I took her offered hand to get to my feet, and the cop led us to the front of the station where Rebel, Blade, and Tex were waiting. Gunnar was on our heels, cursing under his breath as he was led forcefully from his cell by another cop.
Tex’s face did something complicated as I stepped into the room, shifting from anger, to relief, to worry. He took a step forward, and then I closed the distance between us. He wrapped his arms roughly around me; I leaned heavily against him as relief flooded me so intensely I thought my knees might buckle beneath me, right there in the lobby.
The others were talking, but their voices sounded distant, far away, because all I could focus on was the steady beat of Tex’s heart, and the firm grip he kept around my shoulder. He smelled good, like leather and sweat and the aftershave he used when he cleaned up his beard. Smelled like home.
“Come on,” he said. “Blade and Rebel will wrap up the details. Let’s go back to the