sees my rigged-up button, but I’m too upset to be embarrassed or laugh with her. It’s taking all of my effort to keep a straight face.
“That’s good.” She takes two big napkins, covering the top of my pants with one and tucking the other around my bunched-up shirt, so they won’t get full of ultrasound goop. “I’m going to squirt some jelly on your tummy. It’ll be a little cold, okay?”
“Mmhmm,” I mutter, not quite trusting myself to speak.
She touches the wand to the blob of cool gel and a gentle swishing sound fills the room. Tears run unchecked down my cheeks when she moves it over a little more, finding our baby’s heartbeat.
How could he miss this?
“One hundred fifty-eight beats per minute.” She types the numbers into her screen. “I’m just going to take some measurements.”
She measures the head, the arms, legs, and internal organs, clicking and labeling as she goes.
“Now the fun part. You want to know the sex, right?”
There are still no messages or missed calls from my husband when I leave the doctor’s office. I’m near frantic with worry.
As soon as I collapse into the front seat of my car, I dial Hannah.
“Hey girl!” she answers, sounding like her usual chipper self. “Just pulled up at your place to wait for Ellie to get off the bus. Do we know anything yet?”
At the sound of her familiar voice, the stress of the day comes crashing down around me. I can’t hold it in anymore. Painful sobs wrack my body. “H-ha—ave you h—h—heard from L—iam?”
“What the hell? Isn’t he with you? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”
“I don’t kn-know,” is all I can manage to get out as I crank the engine. I rest my head on the steering wheel sucking in deep calming breaths. I turn the air conditioner to full blast, hoping to cool the heat blazing in my cheeks.
“Is everything okay with the baby, Nya? You’re freaking me out.”
“Baby is g-good.”
“Okay. That’s good. Can you drive? Should I send your mom?”
I sniffle, blowing my nose into a tissue. “No. I’m coming.”
“Please be careful.”
The drive home is a literal blur, as in I can hardly see the road through my tears. I’m so angry and scared. My emotions are in upheaval, not knowing which way to tip.
At the last minute, I decide to make a detour. He had to meet with Chance about the club this morning. It’s a pretty safe bet that he’s still there.
I won’t go in. I’ll just drive by, and if his car’s still there, I’ll know he’s safe and can channel all of these emotions into being pissed at him.
What I find when I get there is a complete shitshow. Four police cars are lined up in the front of the club with their lights glowing bright red and blue. Outside, leaning against the brick, is their bouncer Ramey. He’s in cuffs, speaking with an officer. Through the big bay window, I find my husband and his shady-ass friend also talking to the cops. They’re probably about to be arrested too, for all I know.
There’s about half a second where I contemplate being a complete psycho, throwing this car into park and barging in there to demand answers, but I’m too pregnant and exhausted. And quite frankly too disappointed for all of that.
And really, what more could he say? I’ve just gotten all the answer I need.
Liam
Life isn’t fair
Motherfucker! It’s damn near 7:00 p.m. by the time the officers dismiss me and Chance. Turns out, our bouncer has been doling out drugs to our customers to make an extra buck. As the owners of the place, Chance and I were subject hours of questioning and a thorough search of the club. After coming up with nothing on either of us, I think they finally believe we truly had no idea any of this was going on. Still, we’ll be lucky if they don’t have our asses shut down.
In all honesty, I don’t give a shit about this stupid club right now. All I want to do is get home and apologize to my wife. I’ve felt sick all fucking day, and I know it’s nothing compared to the way she must feel. I let her down in a huge way, and if the tone of her dozen or so text messages is any indication, I’ve got a lot of groveling to do.
As soon as I’m released, I shoot my wife a message, letting her know that I am on